This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. Sorority recruitment has been in full swing and the excitement is unearthly amongst all my sorority sisters as bid day approaches quickly, but I have been experiencing other emotions apart from all the excitement that are very opposite. Right before the second night of recruitment, I received news that my great grandmother, Ba, was not doing so well. I quickly learned that I needed to pause my college schedule and go to Arkansas to have one last goodbye. I am not a huge fan of death because at a young age, it has already had a huge place in my life and this feeling of grief was strangely familiar.
Processing in the human mind is affected by pain. Pain is widely displayed among humans through different ways of coping with depression being one of the more prominent. Depression has been known world wide as a mental illness that consists of a feeling of pessimism that is long lasting and effects living normally. If treated correctly and monitored depression can be one of the brain and body’s best ways to deal with pain and loss. Depression is a very serious sickness, even though the term “depressed” is thrown around today within an enormous number of people. The onset of depression has the potential to occur alongside the experience of traumatic events, especially loss. Depression is viewed as a negative thing by many people. After a person is diagnosed with depression, they tend to be labeled forever as “the sad lonely kid” that prefers to keep to his/herself. Associated feelings of weakness and powerlessness come to the forefront of the human mind when depression is brought up in doctor appointments today. Although it is serious, depression is considered to be a very common diagnosis. Studies show that over 9 million American adults suffer from clinical depression each year and in some cases, patients simply need to be taught to experience pain in the correct way. Pain in our lives is not ever going to become completely avoidable. The loss of a loved one in particular is proven to bring pain that is inevitable and sometimes uncontrollable. The physiological cause of major depression can be explained best as an imbalance of certain neurotransmitters (chemical messengers) in the brain, such as serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine. Believe it or not, the body can react to traumatic events involuntarily because of the effect that emotions have on the body.
Pain can also create a mixture of other emotions and feelings within the body. Another one of the more common emotions found in humans today is stress. Humans may not always love being put under stress, but it is necessary when living a normal day to day life. Stress, can be brought on by almost any event or experience. Tasks as simple as a college research paper, can ultimately result in high stress levels and serious health problems. The easy on setting of stress makes it very possible for someone who is attempting to heal from the loss of a loved one to suffer from. Stress can result in various different results happening. Health problems are one of the more dangerous outcomes. When stress starts interfering with your ability to live a normal life for an extended period, it becomes even more dangerous. The longer the stress lasts, the worse it is for both your mind and body. You might feel fatigued, unable to concentrate or irritable for no good reason, for example. But chronic stress causes wear and tear on your body, too.
No matter what, there will always be memories to hold onto. These memories help the brain to better understand the circumstances of certain situations, but also tend to keep hold on the person that has past. Grieving can only get to a certain point before it reaches the last stage. Once the end of the grieving process is finished, any memory, question, or simple “Deja Vu” can recreate an event in your mind. This occurrence can send the brain and mind back into the start of the grieving process all over again. Therefore, grieving does not ever end. I know that I personally will never be able to forget my mother or my great grandmother and move on from missing them. This is the grieving process in my life that will always be part of who I am.
The human mind can be a very tricky thing to play with, but ultimately helps humans out with more than they are aware of. Although numerous memories may “haunt” us forever and bring back negative issues, there are also good memories. My brain may carry multiple images of my mom sick and laying in her bed on hospice about to die, but there are good aspects in this memory too. I remember my mom holding me as I was growing up, and telling me that everything was going to be alright, even after a tough day of third grade. I remember standing by her side as she argued with employees at Hobby Lobby over product discounts. I remember her warm, contagious smile, and the gentle way she said my name that made me feel as if I was the most important person to her. I remember sleepovers with my great grandmother at her nice little house in her small home town. I remember hearing her say "I love you most" until I would let her win the argument. My brain has chosen to remember both the good and the bad in those traumatic events. Including myself in the stereotypical or average, I have experienced stress, depression, and grieving. Stress, at one point, had taken over my body and had started to affect functioning. I have stress. I am human. I feel real emotions and I need to be allowed to do that. By feeling my emotions, and allowing them to take place without trying to block them out, the healing process of losing my mother and great grandmother have started for me. I am capable of feeling all of these emotions and allowing them to be displayed in a safe manner. Feeling these emotions is only bad if humans allow them to take control of the way they act, and I have chosen not too, have you?
