Over the last three years, I’ve never been legitimately homesick. There were a few times around breaks where I couldn’t wait to leave campus—no classes, duh—but I’ve never truly dealt with the sadness and need to be home that a lot of my peers have faced.
In truth, I was having too much fun diving into the lifestyle of a college student. I joined a sorority and learned what sisterhood meant. I became a Resident Assistant and that was a whole different type of experience. Overall, I was having the time of my life, feeling like I was on top of the world and every day was an adventure. There wasn’t any time to feel homesick, so I just went on with my life without experiencing it.
Until recently, that is.
To clarify, I don’t really miss our town. Everything feels like a continuation of cringe-worthy high school drama, and some new but eerily similar discussions about who recently got arrested. Even though I can’t say I miss it, I do miss you.
For as long as I can remember, you've been my home.
I wouldn’t be half the person I am today if you hadn’t been such an influential person in my life. From a young age, you introduced me to literature and the power of good writing. You nurtured all my passions, even if some of them have been a tad farfetched and elaborate.
Every time I changed my major, you just shook your head and went with it. No matter what, you have always offered your unconditional love and support despite the times I didn’t follow your advice.
We’ve always had an extremely close relationship. When everyone else was reading The Twilight Saga with their school friends, I was exchanging books with you and overanalyzing the plot. To this day, every time The CW releases a new series, you’re the first person I want to watch it with, even if you have a bad habit of watching ahead and telling me too many details about it. You’ve been my best friend my entire life, and at 21, that hasn’t changed.
With you, there has always been the promise of forgiveness and time to heal. It’s been like that since I was a little girl acting out in grocery stores over cheap toys that I needed. Even when I was listening to punk rock and wearing way too much black eyeliner, you accepted me.
I’m proud of the person I am today, and I owe it to you. I overcame so many obstacles and I was lucky enough to never have to do it alone. There’s nothing in this world that I could give you that would be enough to thank you for being my person.
These last few weeks have been unprecedently rough for me. I’ve spent a lot of time looking at my parked car, wondering how bad the consequences would be if I fled the city and drove the 300 miles home on a whim.
Luckily, I have enough self-control to wait for break.
I just need to be with you and I feel that way all the time. I know Thanksgiving Break won’t be long enough and I’ll still miss you when I make my way back to Raleigh, but your presence (no matter how long) is good for my soul.
I love you more each day, and I can’t wait to see you.
Your Crazy Granddaughter