It has been nearly a year and a month since the last time I considered myself a hockey player.
In my twenty years of life, I played hockey for seventeen years. I have played since as long as I could remember. In that time I played six years of novice/house/select and eleven years of competitive hockey.
I played for five teams, four of them nationally recognized, played hundreds of games, trained for hundreds of hours, won games, lost games, cried or cheered after games, went to dozens of tournaments, won many tournaments, lost may tournaments, and attended nationals four times and earned a bronze and a silver medal.
Hockey has taken me places I never would have went and has given me so many people I can call friends and even family.
From the beginning I knew that you were going to be a part of my life right from the start as I basically was raised in rinks following my brother around. But, it all started when I said those four words to my parents when I was two: I want to play. The next year they signed me up for novice. I could not imagine what an impact hockey would have on me or my life but I could not imagine growing up without it.
From the ages of 3 to 8, hockey was 8:00 am practices on Saturday's and 8:00 am games on Sunday's. It was a tryout for a select team and then a couple practices here and there during the week, on weekends, and a few tournaments. Hockey, you were not that big a part of my life then. I had soccer, softball, and dance to consume the rest of my time.
But at 9 years old we started our long term relationship. I tried out and made my first travel team. You slowly grew to take up my whole schedule, kicking out any other activity that stood in your way, and I loved it.
The practices, the games, and especially the tournaments were my favorite part. When one season come to a close I had summer hockey and new people to meet to get me to the next season. We never really went on a break.
With each season you gave me people to meet. These people grew to be close friends and even family, but in each case we were a family for the year. Even when the families changed you never did. New people came and old ones went. I met amazing people I never would have had the chance to without you and I made lifelong best friends because of you.
When things were crazy, even at home, I always had you to fall back on. You were a release for me and I knew when I stepped on the ice, all of my problems just stopped eating away at me. You gave me confidence, and love and support (and nicknames) from my team and family.
People would drive to come watch me and whether I did well or poor, it did not matter. You were hard on me at times, and I was hard on you but our love never stopped. I kept training to get better and you kept pushing me. You gave me competition that were the best in the country.
My decision to leave you was the hardest one I had to face my whole life. After last year, you were something that gave me so much happiness but some people made you unbearable and I could not take that feeling. I decided to go to a school without you, I needed my space.
But, when that time of the year came around, I felt something missing. I saw my friends playing and having fun with their teams and I was nostalgic for old times, looking at the past memories we made.
What I have learned is that although we may be apart and I am no longer a competitive hockey player as I once was, you will always be a part of me. I am who I am because of the people I met and that shaped me along the way, the difficulties you put me through and made me overcome, and all the joy you brought to my life.
Thank you for everything, it was an amazing seventeen years.
