I thought you had my best interest at heart, guarding me from things that could cause me harm and pain. Like every tragic love story, it took me awhile to realize this was a toxic relationship. I had to learn that you truly did not give me what was best for me. You have been my companion for years, parting ways with something that is all you know for so long is never easy but, I can no longer live in the close confinements of life you hold me in.
We would have never worked, whatever chemistry that held us together was just small insecurities that formed every decision I ever made in my lifetime. You were always the little voice inside my head that acted like you knew what was best for me, but none of your advice ever allowed me to grow. You see, I could live this whole life asleep and blinded by the fact that everyday is quickly slipping away and living in confinement has given me nothing to show for it. So now, I release you. Fear, I have to let you go.
Now, my biggest fear is to live in fear. You do not serve me anymore, you have not created new horizons for me to explore, new relationships to develop, or experiences to indulge in. You have never encouraged me or taught me lessons that help me be a better person everyday. There is no reason for us to coexist together.
From this point on, I won't let you hinder me and my decisions. No longer will I let you talk me into the safe and steady. No longer will I let you convince me that settling is the smarter option because, in settling there is no risk. With you there may be no risk or failure but there is regret and that is the biggest pain any soul can suffer.
I will thank you, however, for filling the void of self love that has taken me so long to discover. I never realized that behind your false security of my insecurities that I all along had the confidence to move forward on my own. I will thank you for showing me the contrast of playing it safe and maybe without you you will laugh and tell me to wait and see all that I will lose, but even in my loss I will always gain something so much more that can only be found in challanges, experience. Maybe now, I will gamble and love and lose, but a short thrill of chemistry and fire will always beat the long dragging out of relationships that are just smoke. Maybe now, I'll aim for a job I only ever dreamed of and will hit rock bottom a million times before gold, but I have come to find the people you meet along the way are worth more than any salary. Without you, Fear, I might act wild and reckless, young and foolish, you might laugh at me but you were never much fun to be around anyways.
However, you did prove loyal for so many years, and you are still a loyal companion to many, but I no longer desire you around. I would rather part my ways and explore beyond the walls of playing it safe. I would rather break my heart a million times falling for all the wrong ones and opening all the wrong doors, because its in that contrast I trust all the right ones will love me and all the right doors will open. It's been real, Fear, but you're just not my type anymore.