The day came that I took off my cleats for the final time. I never pictured the amount of heartbreak that goes into that moment. When I put on my uniform that day, I didn't think that it would be for the last time. You can't prepare for it.
As I watched my teammate make the final out of the game, a wave of emotions hit me. The tears came and they didn't stop for a very long time. I have given everything to this game for 17 years and to see it all come to a jolting halt absolutely broke my heart.
I'll miss the highs of shattering records, running to center field, stealing bases, burning the outfielders, and that feeling when I laid down a bunt knowing as soon as it hit the ground I would beat it out. I'll miss the lows of every injury a kid could possibly have, the strikeouts, the losses, the fly outs, and even the bad umpire calls. I'll miss my crazy superstitions, putting on my jersey, and bus rides to the middle of nowhere. But most of all, I'll miss the people. My teammates, coaches, the families, athletic trainers, strength and speed coaches, all the staff I have worked with and each and every person that have shaped me into who I am today. I'll miss every single moment, even the little ones that have made my career so worthwhile.
The first few days were rough as I felt like I lost a huge part of who I am. What was my identity outside being a softball player? What does one do when all they knew, lived and breathed was softball? It took a little bit but I realized that being a softball player was a huge part of me but wasn't solely who I am. Being a softball player has shaped me into who I am today by providing me with amazing opportunities to grow as an individual and prepare me for everything that life will throw at me.
Goodbye to the game that has instilled a passion and work ethic to accomplish my wildest dreams. Goodbye to the game that knocked me down over and over again but taught me to get back up. Goodbye to the game that has provided me amazing travel experiences and a free college education. Goodbye to the game that gave me the best adrenaline rush every time I stepped on the field. Goodbye to the game that has allowed me to cross paths with some amazing people that have become a huge part in who I am and will cherish forever. Goodbye to the game that I loved from my first swing. Goodbye to the game that provided me with friendships, opportunities, and life lessons that I wouldn't have had otherwise. Goodbye to the game that has blessed me more than I ever could imagine. And finally, goodbye to the game that has given me 17 years of fond memories.
Coach once said, "You're a former athlete a lot longer than you are an athlete" and I finally understand it. Those years as an athlete were special and I wouldn't change any of it.
As I relinquish the title of being a Division 1 Athlete, I am grateful for all that this game has brought me. I take with me 1 Big South Championship Title Ring, 2 Banquet Awards (Senior Female Athlete of the Year and the Sportsmanship Award), 3 CSU Records (Career hits, career stolen bases, and single season hits), 4 All-Conference team selections, and 4 years of amazing memories! God has been so good!
I have no regrets as I poured my heart and soul into this game. I gave it everything I had and that's all I could ever do. I miss every part of the game, but on the days that are tough, I can look back on an amazing career and cherish the moments that got me here today. Thank you softball for the best 17 years of my life.
