You’ve heard a thousand times from your mom, your dad, your teachers, and other authority figures in your life that you should put others before yourself. But is living a life that is completely for the benefit and thoughts of others really the best thing you can do?

It's good to help others and it's good to think about how others will be impacted by how you live your life, but you can’t let those thoughts be more important than the life you are living for yourself. Empathy is always seen as a positive skill, but many who are known for being the most empathetic can also be the ones who are struggling with their own lives and emotions. Living a life where you are shape shifting through every encounter and making decisions based off what will help certain people creates a void in yourself. Who are you besides the happiness you have made for others? What do you bring to this Earth? Why can’t your happiness be just as important as the happiness of those around you?

Every life is important. Understanding that we all bring something different to the table should help you learn to respect your own happiness. If you live life with the intention of only furthering others happiness and wishes, how will you improve your own self enough to make impacts on the world as well? It is not selfish to be happy. It is not self indulgent to do things for yourself every once and a while. It isn’t even horrid to be happy with your accomplishments when others are still finding their way to the same goal. If everyone denied themselves of the happiness, proudness, and strength that comes with bettering their own lives, no one would be making progress towards becoming a better version of themselves. It’s all about finding the balance of being understanding towards the ways we can help others and the acceptance that helping yourself is just as important.

You shouldn’t be afraid to expect more for yourself. You deserve just as much help, love, and thought that you are giving to the people around you. Will you always get it? Hell no, but that doesn’t mean you should just let yourself believe you don’t deserve it. Wanting to be treated by others the way you treat them does not make you naive, self-serving, or rude. I’m not saying you should be putting others first sometimes, just because you think it will make others do the same for you someday. It’s about doing what feels right to yourself and those around you in hopes that others can learn from your example and care about others in that way. You are helping spark the minds of those around you, so showing others that caring for yourself can be balanced with empathetically helping others is creating a society where both your individual self and others are given the same amount of precedence.

Going overboard on either side of this scale can be a very negative thing, whether you're completely wrapped up in your own happiness or ignorant to how ignoring your happiness can hurt your health. Once again balance is key. Its about living life with a notion of who you are as a person, what you believe in, and helping others in a way that doesn’t impede on growing as an individual. Of course there will be times when you may sacrifice for others, but it shouldn’t be so much you are sacrificing yourself. Loving yourself is the first way to make others feel loved. To be loved by someone who doesn’t love themselves, is to teach someone to love others and not themselves. The goal should be to teach people to love and respect themselves as much as the people around them.

People want to be happy, but they also want you to be happy. Life doesn’t revolve around you, but it won’t stop running because you put yourself first for once. Putting yourself first every once in a while is renewing the energy you have to continue to help others around you.