It's Going To Be OK

It's Going To Be OK

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.
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Don't give up.

I'm here to tell you that it's going to be OK. You know, with what you're going through. We all go through things, but I'm hear to tell you that because we all do go through things, it doesn't make what you are going through any less important.

I've felt true pain before, I mean who hasn't. It's crazy to think about but every single person on this Earth has dealt with pain and suffering. Whether it's something so small or something so big, this shouldn't allow us to react differently towards others depending on their level of pain. Just because you are struggling doesn't mean with what you're struggling with isn't as important as what someone else is.

Whatever you are going through, don't compare it to other's misery. You are important and if something is making you upset or just empty and lost then it's important too. Don't belittle your battles just because they aren't as intense as the person's battle next to you.

I'm here to tell you that it's OK to cry, it's OK to be sad and it's OK to feel defeated. As long as you keep going, and remember that it's going to be OK in the end.

There are so many cliches quotes that I can write here, but I won't because frankly, we've all heard them. Though they do help to a certain extent I don't believe that it's the best thing to read when we are going through a difficult time.

I do have some advice for those who don't know how to keep going and pushing through this bad time. Whether it's relationships, drama, friendships, work, money, religion, politics, family or about anything that can make you upset, I hope this gives you even a little security and confidence that things will get better.

Breathe.

This sounds really easy, right? All I'm asking you to do is simply breathe. Take a moment and fully clear your mind. Taking deep breaths and really concentrating on just breathing will always help you when you are trying to calm down whether you're getting worked up, having a panic attack, or just not knowing how you'll overcome something.

With breathing often times comes clarity. Clarity with what you're dealing with, how you'll overcome it, and just how to overall learn from the obstacles you're facing now.

You may be hurt, sick, depressed, anxiety-filled and feel like you just can't do anything at all anymore. That's wrong. You can still breathe, so give it a shot before feeling defeated and try to look at this as just another thing you can do and will get through.

It's OK to ask for help.

Often times when people are asked if they are OK, they reply 'I'm fine' even on their worst days.

This is wrong.

For some reason, parents and the older generation have tried to enforce the keeping your feelings to yourself, which is extremely unhealthy. We were never told it was OK to seek help from professionals such as therapists or psychologists. I personally believe that every single person on this planet deserves to have that privilege. Whether it's a certified counselor, your best friend, a professor, your mom or your dog, it is so important that we express ourselves to people especially if we're in pain.

Communication is incredibly important to fixing the problems that suffocate us. Whether it's as small as someone whispering in a movie theater or as big as suffering from depression, we all struggle at times in our lives. It's important that we communicate and look to people to turn to at times when we're just not strong enough to face it alone.

Know that you are never alone.

Many times within your life you will feel empty and alone, it's natural to grieve and truly feel heartache and pain. Though it's difficult, we must always remind ourselves that we are never alone. Whether it's one friend or fifty, one parent or a sibling, we are surrounded by people constantly throughout our lives.

You're also not alone in the fact that you are the only one who is suffering through your pain. So many people have gone through what you're going through and have survived.

You may not think it, but people care more about you than you think. People do love you so much and want nothing but the best for you. If sometimes they come down hard on you for your suffering, often times it's because they don't like to see you sad, so they become angry themselves.

It's important that during this time, no matter how bad it is, that we don't shut out these special people in our lives. Pushing people away because you don't want them to go through the same pain and suffering always will hurt them more. Keep your loved ones close especially in a time of need.

Take a second, and realize how loved you are. No matter what, they will always love you and that is something to never forget.

Never give up, things will get better.

It's so easy to throw the covers over our heads and call it quits. It's so easy to cut everyone off and be alone. It's so easy to destroy everything we have worked so hard for. Please don't give up. This will always set you back ten steps than the last time. At the end of the day giving up is completely useless. I know it's hard to keep going through what you're going through but please keep going and stay strong.

Here are some things that have definitely helped me with the pain I've felt in my life:

Try at the end of each day writing down one thing that you're thankful for or happy about. Those little motivators that we have to keep us going.

Try a new hobby or activity. Whatever it may be, get out there and do something. Every day you aren't living is a day wasted.

Plan for the future! Planning fun trips to the city or a small dinner at your favorite restaurant with your friends truly helps. Honestly, time spent with the people that love you is a great way to not only have support but feel loved, which is something you deserve to feel.

Depending on your situation, seeking treatment or professional help is nothing to be ashamed of. There's no need to feel bad about seeking help, and especially if it'll help you. If people judge you for that, then they are clearly too immature to be in your life anyways.

Have a positive outlook on life. It is so easy to just be negative and get down for every little thing. When you're positive and try to make an effort, things fall back into place.

Sure, it's definitely OK to be sad sometimes. But as long as we pick ourselves back up and always remember that it's going to be OK.

Most importantly, love yourself, love your family and friends, and never take this crazy unpredictable life for granted.

And, as so perfectly Dory puts it from Finding Nemo, "just keep swimming, just keep swimming."


































Cover Image Credit: WeHeartIt

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
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To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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Why Ignorance In Our Country Is Not Bliss

And it never will be.

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The saying ignorance is bliss is a bunch of crap. Ignorance is ignorance.

With everything going on in our country, I think it is very important for us to be educating ourselves.

You don't trust the news? Do your own digging.

You don't understand? Do some research.

You don't have the same perspective? Share it.

You only have your religious beliefs to base your knowledge? Learn before you judge.

We live in a scary world today. People judge others they've never met or before they've ever heard their story. People involve themselves in matters that they shouldn't be involved in. People are trying to regulate other people's bodies.

People don't want to learn about the issues they so strongly believe in. People don't want to hear the other side. When did party affiliation become more important than being a human being? When did men get the power to decide what women can do with their bodies? When did we stop being compassionate? When did we stop being decent human beings?

I don't want to live in a world where I have all these questions.

I don't want to live in a world where a judicial system will convict a woman who got an abortion after she was raped, but won't convict her rapist.

I don't want to live in a world where my social media timeline makes me want to cry.

I want to live in a world where everyone's opinion matters, not just the one you agree with.

I want to live in a world where everyone's voice is heard equally, not just the one's in power.

I want to live in a world where everyone's story is taken into consideration, not just the one's the government wants you to hear.

I want to live in a world where I can raise a young girl and not be afraid for her.

I want to live in a world where we do good.

I want to live in a world where we have differences, but that doesn't make us any less equal.

I want to live in a world where we don't judge before we know.

I want to live in a world where religious beliefs are respected.

I want to live in a world where it doesn't matter what political party you are.

I want to live in a world where people see right from wrong.

I want to live in a world where I am not afraid.

What kind of world do you want to live in?

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