It never gets any easier knowing that you are still gone. Even after three years, it still doesn't feel real. I miss you more and more everyday..

Ephesians 3:17-19: That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.

That was one of my grandma's favorite bible verses. She was an amazing Godly woman who loved God more than herself. She did not let cancer define who she was. She was selfless and brave, she was a true fighter.

When my grandma passed away, I kept asking God "Why? Why did she have to go? Why did cancer have to take her away from us? Why did she have to leave?..." I wasn't angry with God but I was angry with myself for not spending more time with her, for not making every second count. There is questions I wish I gotten to ask, so many talks that I wanted to have with her. But I know now, that it was time for her to be with God and I've made peace with it.

She had a little journal that she wrote in before she passed, she left my whole family a huge letter telling us how much she loved and appreciated us. In the journal, she also wrote "My life has been blessed, my biggest blessing is my savior, without him, we have nothing."

There were times that I wish I can go back in time and just relive those moments with her.. From her teaching me how to ride a horse, to the times where I would sleep over and she would sleep with me on the couch because I was scared. She taught me how to draw and I wouldn't be the artist I am today without her. She and my grandpa, taught me the word of the Lord and brought me closer to him as a young kid. I couldn't be any more thankful for them for showing his amazing love to me.

She was so special to me and she was so special to hundreds of people. My grandmother was so beloved, she had many friends who was always there for her. Some of my family and our friends shared some stories and memorable moments with me that they had with her:

Cousin Lilly R: "When I would spend the night she would make grilled cheese in the shape of butterflies and would make tomato soup. Then we would always watch Shirley Temple. She would do my hair like Shirley had in the movie that we would watch that night too."

Grammy: "There is so many stories and moments that I shared with her. I loved your grandmother very much, we had a very close relationship. I saw her a lot when she was sick and we would talk a lot about her family, about all of you guys."

Wanda T: "The first time I met your grandma was at a Ladies Retreat at Blue Ridge Camp. We immediately formed a lasting friendship. We put our bunks together and talked all night, really getting know all about each other!! I remember her level of faith was so strong that it encouraged my faith to grow. After she got cancer, I was so sad but knew because of her faith, she would be okay with whatever happened, she would be fine. What a legacy she has left and made everybody's life she touched, better!! Gabbi, I see so much of your grandma in you-- she lives on!!"

Dad: "My favorite memory of your grandmother was when I was asking for her and Mike's blessing to marry your mom. I told her how much I loved your mom and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She told me that she loved me and your mom very much and she said that I would be a great husband to her daughter and a great father one day. Your grandma was an amazing woman."

Sister Anna: "I miss her so much to where I cry a lot. She taught me how to ride a horse and she let me help her bake cookies for Christmas. She always let me, my brother Micah and my cousin Lilly play in her room. She was the best grandma I've ever had."

Brother Clay: "My favorite memory with grandma would have to be when she became bed locked because of the cancer and I would sit there for an hour or two listening to her sing. She had music therapy every weekend and a woman would come over and play guitar and they would sing and I loved to listen to her sing. She had such a beautiful voice and she would sing church songs and how she would sing it with such passion. It is like the whole room brightened up when the therapist strung a note and they began to sing. Joy would just vibrate off her and it was impossible to not get pulled to her voice. The grin you would get when you watched her sing would leave your face sore cause you just couldn't stop. I love and miss you grandma."

Mom: "Baby Girl, To choose just one memory to share about your grandmother is impossible for me. How could I possibly narrow it down to just one? She was strong. I don’t mean her battle with cancer. We all know she faced that with grace, a positive attitude and armed with her faith. She did not let cancer define her and I will not do so now. She was physically strong from the time she was born. She was born prematurely in a time that babies that weighed less than a pound and would fit in the palm of your hand, as she did, would not survive. Yet she did. She remained strong and could out work and out throw hay bales with the rest of the farm help despite her petite 5’2” frame. She was strong-willed. Being a strong-willed teenager with a strong-willed mom was a recipe for a few fights. Looking back, I know she always had both my physical well-being and spiritual well-being in mind. Ever wonder where I get it from? She was so strong in her faith that she lived it unwaveringly- Always. Not just in the end, but I mean always. Because of her faith, she was strong in her love for others. I don’t just mean us. We all know how much she loved us. She loved us fiercely and completely. She loved her friends and her church family. Because her love for God was so strong, she also loved those who others might think were unlovable, and she prayed for them. In addition to teaching children’s church, calling and cooking for the sick, she made certain that Jen and I had a good spiritual foundation, which she in turn shared with all of her grandchildren. She was a remarkable woman, and I see glimpses of her in you all every day and it makes my heart smile through the tears."

Jeanna P: "I have so many beautiful memories of your grandma. As a teen I was friends with your mom and went home with her sometimes. Your grandpa was also my preacher so I also knew her from that. And then your grandpa was my professor and then my boss so our lives crossed paths too many times to count. But the memory I hold most precious in my heart was when Lilly was baptized. Your grandma came to me and talked to me about Bible Bowl and how important it is in the lives of the kids we touch. She thanked me for helping kids memorize God's Word and told me to never forget how important it is. I have held onto that memory so many times when I get tired or frustrated or when I doubt what I am doing. She has given me strength so many times and she probably had no idea how much her words meant to me."

Cousin Forrest R: "So I was just thinking and I don't even know if I could tell a specific story, but as I kept thinking, the only one thing that kept coming back to my mind was her smile and her infectious positive attitude on life. I don't think there was a time that I can remember that she wasn't smiling, even through her ups and downs there, I just can't remember a time. It is something that even on my bad days, I think back to that attitude and try to change mine. It is crazy how she continues to be an influence on me and our family, that just shows the person she was. I can also say as someone who wasn't blood relation, there was never a time that you would have known that. She loved me and I loved her."

Aunt Jennifer R: "I was reminded of a couple things today as I was sitting in a church for a funeral and everyone sang a traditional hymn. I sat there and could just hear Moms voice and see her face singing the song. I guess going to church every Sunday and sitting along side of her singing praises to God is a very strong memory. Her laugh and smile is what I always think of when I think of her. She was a great cook...or at least all my friends thought so and loved to come over and eat dinner."

Grandpa (Paw Paw): "I met your grandma when I moved into a townhouse next to her in Kingsport, Tennessee. She lived with her mom at the time. When she first saw me, I was bald and she thought I was older than I really was. She tried to set me up with her mom! One day she heard from the landlord that I needed to vacuum my townhouse, so she came over and brought her vacuum. She was wearing blue denim flower printed pants with a tie dye shirt on, she had very, very long black hair past her shoulders with some moccasins on. After that we started dating in 1969. When I asked her to marry me, she said no to me twice and after the third time I asked, she said yes. We got married on October 10, 1970. We had so many memories and moments together. After your mom and aunt were born, your grandma asked me to teach her how to drive since I'll be going to bible college. That was very memorable for me, them being born and teaching her how to drive. We moved around a lot, it always a good time with her. One time, she locked herself in the dog pen in 22 degree weather. She was hollering and hollering for me while I was in the house, did not hear her once but the neighbors acres away did! I always made her carry her cellphone after that. We were married for 42 years and 10 months. A week before she passed away, she told me that I made all of her dreams come true, she said we had our own house that I built for her, that she had her own job and her own Arabian Horse farm that she always wanted. She was so proud of it all."

Grandma,

There isn't a day I do not think about you. I miss you so much, sometimes the pain is unbearable. I know you are much happier in heaven, singing your heart out and riding horses in the most beautiful fields of gold. I pray to God every night to tell you that I miss you and that I love you. You'd be so proud of everyone Grandma. Everyone is doing really good. There isn't a day when we do not think about you. I wish you were here to see it all....

But God needed you more.