I don’t know much about romantic relationships, in fact, I can honestly say I’ve never been in a “real” one at all. I don’t know too much about what it’s like to care for a significant other more than myself, but I do know what it’s like to put family and friends before my own needs. I’m no expert in commitment to people, but I can say that I truly do know love. Something that I never thought I knew before, until I read something in the Bible that said “If you don’t know love then you don’t know God, because God is love.”

I’m not the most well-versed Christian. I grew up going to church every Sunday, praying before dinner with my parents, and praying every night before bed-time. But it wasn’t until recently that I actually had a committed and real relationship with the Lord. Ever since I have formed this relationship, I’ve learned new things about myself and I’ve begun to think differently.

For starters, I’ve learned to love myself just a little bit harder regardless of my sins and how unworthy I sometimes may feel. I have learned that I have been created in the image of God and He loves me so much that He was willing to send His only Son to save me from my sins. Because of God’s grace I know I will live eternally in the kingdom of Heaven even when I have not lived a perfect life. I know that I am not perfect now, but God works through me to assure that I will be perfect when I reach His heavenly home. I have learned that Jesus has saved me from my sins both past and present– because I have accepted God into my life, I will be saved.

Something I’ve come to learn about Christians, we are meant not to judge but we are some of the quickest to because of how firm we are in our beliefs. This is not something I’m proud of, but it is something I have come to find and therefore refuse to deny.

I don’t know what other people’s beliefs are, but personally I’m a lover. I believe that everyone should love one another and love themselves. So many times people tell me that because I’m a Christian I shouldn’t believe in gay marriage because it ruins the sanctity of the ceremony. They tell me I shouldn’t believe in abortion and that I shouldn’t accept people of other religions because in the Bible these people are claimed as sinners and therefore are not the people to be associate with. But in the Bible I am also told to stone the woman of a divorced couple, can’t wear mixed fabrics, have premarital sex, etc.

Christians are so quick to shout Bible verses at “sinners,” but are quite slow to read the less common ones to themselves. I am not perfect, I am a sinner. I do things I should not, I lie, and sometimes manipulate. I toy with people’s emotions, reject my own, and strive to be perfect. Sometimes I try to take matters into my own hands instead of trusting God with them. I swear like a sailor when I’m angry and sometimes when I’m not. I put more time and energy into watching sports and working out than I do in my relationship with my Lord, I give dirty looks, gossip, listen to rumors, and sometimes pass on information I’m not 100% sure of. I am not perfect, but I am a Christian and one day I will be perfect enough to enter Heaven.

All over Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram I see people rejoicing or arguing the new law passed that allows the LGBT community to be married in every state of the United States. People call them sinners, especially Christians. People say it shouldn’t be allowed and that God would not accept them. I hear people telling one another that God calls a man sleeping next to a man an abomination. I see people calling homosexuals sinners and talking about them being condemned to hell because of their sexual sins. These statements are the kind that make people resent Christians, reject God, and fear religion.

Today our pastor in church addressed this without sharing his opinion. All he said to us was this, “God says whoever. In the Bible He addresses His people as ‘whoever.’ This means that we are a movement for all people no matter who you are, what you believe in, what you’ve done, and where you come from. When you come to God at the end of your life, if you believe in Him, He will cast away your sins and say, “You good and faithful servant.”‘

We all sin, whether sexually or in life– we all are guilty of sin. But because of the graces of God, we have already been saved by His son. We are a movement for all people.

So to the Christians who believe that gay marriage is against God’s word, please know that you live in a sinful manner as well. Please know that it is not your job, but His, to judge. It is not your place to condemn, and it is not your place to place fear in the hearts of those who believe differently than you. For when you believe in God and you trust your life in Him, He casts away your fear and forgives your for all sins, for we have been graciously saved.

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I am not a perfect Christian. I rarely go to church, I don’t always prioritize God, I turn to Him more often when I need Him and I’m alone than when I am thankful. But I am a Christian, and I do my best to serve Him in all ways. Today, I have decided to declare a change in my lifestyle.

Today in church I saw some new things that shifted my perspective. While I wholly believe that going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car, I know that frequently attending a service could help not only strengthen my knowledge of His word, but my relationship with my Heavenly Father as well. But as I stood in Eleven 22 (the church) today– an old Walmart store, I realized that a church is not the building that I am in, but rather the people that I am rejoicing with.

Lord, Your word does not roll off of our tongue but rather resounds from our spirit. As I stood in church today I almost started to cry during the sermon. Not for any reason in particular. It wasn’t something specific that was said, or anything that I was feeling, but because my entire body relaxed. I felt at home, I felt safe, and I felt like I was giving God everything that made my life heavy. For that moment I let go of my burdens, released my thoughts and fears as I’m meant to do. I trusted God to walk into His arms and let Him guide me through talents of His children and through His word. I was effortlessly relaxed– so much that my tear ducts began to release.

There are few places where I will wholly embrace my high-pitched, out of tune, screechy vocals. I’ll belt out the lyrics to most country songs in the car with my sisters, in the shower when no one’s home, in my best friend's apartment, and in the House of God with people who believe what I believe.

Basically, this post is all over the place. I don’t have a certain point to it other than this– I’m far from perfect. I believe in love and equality. I believe in solving problems through rationale and words, I believe that it doesn’t matter what other people are doing as long as it’s not hurting me or anyone else that I love. I believe that “whoever” is willing to accept God will be loved and therefore accepted by God, and I believe that even though I sin– I have already been saved and the best I can do is continue to improve and love God.

God, may your love and trust manifest in me. May I wholly submit myself to You and learn to trust Your ways and to be fearless. May You continue to bless me every day and to grace me with Your son and Your love. Lord, may I never doubt you and continue to spread Your word. May I learn to live my life with trust and become well-versed in love. May my life be filled with You and Your word. In Your name I choose to live, amen.

1 John 4:13-21

“By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent His Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him and he in God. So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him whoever loves God must also love his brother.”