Growing up I knew that I had to have something, because I could feel my body tense up about little stupid things. I always had a specific place for my things, whether that be my toys or my toothbrush. That's ok with me, nowadays when you have a learning disability, whatever it is you have you get that label. I am not defined by my Anxiety or OCD, but I definitely struggle with them on a daily basis. It's hard being in college, 20 years old, and having your doctor for the first time in your entire life try to put you on anxiety medication. I am a big believer in not having to be dependent on drugs to help me control things, through prayer and lots of focus on God, he can pull my difficulties together, and help me through each day. So I've learned to put my Anxiety and OCD in check, but sometimes I just let them run free. Here's a little insight on what the life of someone with Anxiety and OCD look like.

1. I plan everything. Whatever it is that's going on whether that be a dinner date, work hours, a test, you name it. It's in probably in my planner. What else is in my planner you ask? Majority of the time, there's a to do list, and different things that need to be done each day. If I'm not planning things out, I might have panic attacks because I can't remember when something needs to get done, or how much time I have to do it.

2. Panic attacks happen, sometimes on the daily. I personally freak out with messy things, and right now my room is a wreck. I literally have to mentally prepare myself before I walk into my room because if I don't I will have a panic attack. With my anxiety, if I am doing homework and I don't really know how to do something, and I know that I don't have a lot of time to get that homework done, panic attack. When things are spinning out of control and the only thing that I can do is watch it crash, panic attack. Most of the time they are unexpected, so I never know when it'll happen, but when they do...man. I feel detached, like I will throw up, I can't breathe, I'm terrified, and the more terrified I get, the more feeling I lose in my hands, feet, and face, and with that comes in the wave or terror that I might die. They are seriously the worse thing that I've had to deal with.

3. I worry about nothing sometimes. Sometimes there are times that nothing is even wrong, I just feel anxious and worried about nothing. When people ask what is wrong, I don't know what to tell them, because half the time I don't even know why I am so tense and feel like I am on the very of a panic attack. When they get frustrated with me for not talking, I shut down because I am trying so hard to find the words that I don't know what is wrong.

4. I can't concentrate. When that initial anxiety hits my, my mind is everywhere but where it's supposed to be. I find myself concentrating trying to get my emotions in check to keep me from freaking out. A lot of people have never seen someone have a panic attack before, so when they finally do they are full on in panic mode.

5. I get irritable. If I ever might seem "pissy" it's not that I am being dramatic, I probably just feel really anxious about something. I take little crap sometimes, and if it's really bad I walk away. It's nothing against you, it's just I can't control it at that moment in time and I have to walk away to keep myself from falling off the edge.

6. Myheart beats a mile a minute. There is seriously never a time, when my heart is beating at a normal rate. Constantly I am worrying about something, and it beats fast. If I really get anxious my heart will pick up the beat before I even realize it.

7. Headaches are real. I know I get headaches really bad when I am anxious. They get bad. If I start to worry about something a lot, my head starts to hurt, and I have to constantly tell myself to calm down, or they get worse. A lot worse.

8. I have to pick at things. Whether that be at my fingers, loose strings, the rings to our spiral notebooks, my phone case. Anything, I am constantly picking at them to give my mind something else to focus on so that I can minutely get away from the anxiety that sits deep in the pit of my stomach.

9. Labels face the same ways, or all towards you. When I use anything, whether that be my toothpaste, or my shampoo, after I've used it, it always goes back in the same exact spot that it was in, with the label either facing me, or if there isn't enough room to have them all facing me, they all face the same direction. If they aren't that way when I go to use them the next time, I can feel my anxiety boiling up inside me.

10. With OCD, we all have our different quirks. In my case, I HATE my feet being dirty, and I don't do well if they are dirty. I learned this while I was working at a summer camp this summer. Every time that I would go to the cabin and sit on my bed, I would have to pull my package of baby wipes, and clean my feet off and make sure that I got all of the dirt and sad off of my feet. Because if I woke up and could feel sand in my bed that night, panic attack.

These are only a few of the things that I, and probably many others deal with that might have anxiety or OCD. We try to keep things in check but sometimes it just isn't possible. So try to give us a break sometimes, or help calm us down. To know that there is someone that accepts you for your disability, and is willing to help you through whatever it is, that helps calm our anxiety down a little bit. Also, it's not funny to mess with someone who has OCD, their things are in that order for a reason, and if you move it to just be funny, you could really hurt them, and make the panic attack that much more likely to happen.