My love affair began when I was only nine years old. I had exhausted virtually every other sport, and almost gave up on the whole idea, when I came across swimming. When I first started, I could barely even finish one length of the pool without stopping.
By the time I was eleven, I knew that I had found my calling. I competed year-round on my club team, the USA team, and on the school team. Swimming quickly became one of the biggest parts of my life. Eat. Sleep. Swim. Repeat.
I fell head-over-heels for the sport. I loved everything about it. The grueling practices, twice a day, six days a week. Thursday through Sunday meets. The perpetual dark circles, wet hair and chlorine perfume. I loved it all. I couldn't get enough.
By the time I got to high school, I knew there was no going back. The sport had already given me so much. And not just physically, although I was in much better shape while I was an athlete. Being a swimmer taught me time management. The balancing act of athletics and academics was hard, but it made me better. The bonds I formed with my teammates were unbreakable. My sport also taught me what it was like to work hard, set a goal, and do everything within my power to achieve it. It taught me to take pride in my achievements.
How could I ever expect to give all of that up? It had been such a huge part of my life, for so long I literally couldn't imagine my life without it. I had every intention of continuing my swimming career through college.
But sometimes, even our best intentions don't work out.
I quit my sport and that was the most difficult thing I've ever done.Everyone will tell you how hard it is to play a sport, but no one ever told me how much harder it would be to quit. Suddenly I had all this free time on my hands that I had no idea what to do with. My afternoons were wide open, and I had endless possibilities, but I found myself missing it more than ever.
Do I miss 6 AM workouts? No. Anyone will tell you I'm not a morning person. Do I miss that sore feeling? Oddly enough, yes. I miss being sore, because that's how I know that I worked really hard. I miss the friendly competition among teammates, and the not-so-friendly competition with our rivals. I miss sharing that knowing look with a teammate. I miss that unexpected time-drop and knowing my hard work paid off.
It took me a long time to realize that there are other things I can put all of that love into. I was able to do things that I'd never done, because now I had the time. I learned a lot about myself from the sport, but I learned even more after I quit. And I also discovered that sometimes you have to give up the things you love in order to grow.
