Today, I saw a tweet that I was astonished by and that was the following:
First of all, let me make myself clear, I don't necessarily identify as a feminist. I like to use the phrase, "I am just against people being idiots to someone of another gender just because they can be." When I saw this tweet, I was truly astounded because I thought, "Why beat around the bush?"
Another thing you should know about me, I listen to a lot, I mean a lot, of spoken word poetry. This was reminiscent to something I had heard before in a poem by Olivia Gatwood and Megan Falley. They talked about how scary it is to be a girl now-a-days.
I mean, just look at this tweet and think about it.
"Go out with me?" "Maybe."
"Movies on Friday?" "I'll let you know."
Tweets like these are such an eye-opener for me, so let me get to the point. Why should a girl have to "curve" like this? Why does she have to be nice and kind, but without hurting the guy's feelings?
I am very, very guilty of this. I have found myself on more than one occasion saying, "maybe," or "I have to ask my parents," or "can I get back to you?" Then, I don't message them back. I know that in the back of my head, I am doing this to spare their feelings, or to keep them from getting angry with me, or ask questions as to why I don't want to go out with him.
For example, I went on a third date with a guy. I gave it three whole dates and I still didn't feel anything at all. So, I politely told him I didn't want to see him anymore using the words, "I just don't feel anything between us, but you are a nice guy."
He proceeded to pull over and try to change my mind. He gave me loop holes, things that he could change, etc. No matter how many Plan B's he gave me, I still felt the exact same way, yet I told him "to let me think on it." Spoiler alert: we didn't speak much after that (lots of ignored messages).
But that is exactly my point. I shouldn't have spent my time trying to convince him that he may have a chance when I knew that I wanted nothing to do with him, or even after I said that I didn't want to see him anymore.
This is a call to all girls. Don't be afraid of what he is going say. Stop making sure he is comfortable when you are clearly not. These phrases are not worth the time. Just tell him straight up, "I don't want to pursue a relationship with you." If you want to be friends, extend that too, but don't be surprised when he walks away.
I extend this challenge to guys too. Just be honest, that's all anyone needs when it comes to love.
