Today, we live in a society where girls accept less than they deserve. Girls deserve to be pursued, and guys should be able to respectfully communicate their feelings with them.
I sympathize with guys in a way because I know it is hard to put yourself out there when you don’t know how a girl feels about you. But as my sister would say, “Guys shouldn’t be scared to ask a girl out. There are 52 billion other ones out there…no big deal!” While it is easier said than done, I truly believe there is someone out there for everyone, and you may need to be rejected a few times to find the right one for you.
It is unfortunate that dates are not as common now, and relationships have increasingly become ambiguous. “Let’s hang out” is much less meaningful than “Let’s grab dinner and see a movie tomorrow night!”. A date (no matter how expensive or inexpensive) establishes the fact that the guy is interested in getting to know the girl better and seeing if there is a possibility for a relationship, but “hanging out” can sometimes be misinterpreted and send mixed signals.
The concept of dating needs to be taken more seriously…when a date is planned, it shouldn’t be cancelled at the last minute! Even though it may only be the first date, it is unfair to get the other person excited just to dash their dreams.
For example, how would a text like this make you feel?
“I do like you. I just think taking you on a date could cause too much chaos.”
Followed by--
“I gotta stop being nervous so can we go another night?”
Mad, sad, annoyed, confused, all of the above!
Guys should not tell girls they are going to take them out and back out at the last minute. That is incredibly rude! What is the worst that can happen? I don’t understand why just one date would make someone that nervous…
Additionally, I am much more interested in guys who value face-to-face communication when dealing with important subjects. A face-to-face conversation is much more effective and respectful than an impersonal text message. If a guy has enough courage to have a face-to-face conversation, it reveals so much about his character and self-esteem. However, a simple text message that is sent to attempt to resolve a difficult situation can make a girl question your intentions.
For example, I have received text messages like--
“I just wanted to shoot you a quick text and let you know that I’m sorry if I led you on in any way. I think you know I have feelings for you but at the same time I won’t be ready to really date for a while…”
This is a complete slap in the face to girls. The fact that this guy did not have enough respect to talk to me about this in person was such a disappointment. I know this must have been awkward for him to tell me, but I don’t appreciate the way he communicated his feelings. I was obviously hurt. Why didn’t he even feel the need to have a conversation about this?
It was hard losing him in my life, even as a friend, but I know that this wouldn’t have been as much of an issue if he had only shown me more respect. I guess everything works out for a reason, though. The fact that he was too afraid to discuss his concerns with me revealed his immaturity, which would not have worked.
Texting is not always bad, but it needs to be purposeful. You should not text the person you like unless you truly want to have a conversation with them. Showing an interest in a girl by posing a question is a great way to make her day. However, when she responds, it is rude not to answer. If you start the conversation, it is your responsibility to finish it…common sense! Also, if you tell a girl you like her, then refuse to communicate for a long period of time, the girl will just move on, and you need to be okay with that. If you really like someone, you should fight for them!
While this article puts guys in the hot seat, it is important to realize that we cannot place blame solely on guys. If we, as women, empower ourselves to stand up for what we desire when it comes to dating, guys will be more likely to treat us with respect.
What I have come to realize is that life is short, and there is no need to dwell on finding a man. The right person will come along for everyone, and I have found so much more joy focusing my energy into my other positive relationships…my family, my friends, and even my relationship with God! The bottom line is that all girls deserve a prince, and until you find one, don’t settle!
