I am her.

I talk a good game, flash a pretty smile, and speak words that I do not mean.

I speak life and encouragement into my loved ones. I crave for them to see themselves the way I see them and how their creator sees them. But when the compassionate talk is over and the women empowerment speech has come to an end. I question if I believe one word I even said.

I am her, I talk a good game, but I have not played the game right.

I have not lived to the standard of self-love that I've portrayed to the women in my life. I question the love I think I deserve but I look at the women in my life and instantly know they deserve nothing but honor and ultimate love. I will sit for hours telling them to look in the mirror, and see the beauty in them. I will tell them that, that boy sending the late night texts is not worth the acknowledgment or a response. I sit there and look at her in awe and try to tell her, she is worth the wait and hard work.

But I am her.

The girl that answers the late night texts from the guy that has been stringing me along for a year.

I am the girl that has given her body to a body, thinking it was love, but is sadly mistaken.

I am the girl that tells her friends to stand tall and wait for what they want. But I see myself settling and making myself small in the process.

Why can I love and cherish my friends but look at myself and believe that I deserve way less?

I am her. The girl that loves everyone around her but still struggles to love herself.

I am a work in progress, but I am trying to love someone while trying to love myself, and I am failing greatly.

We can not expect someone to know how to love us if we do not understand how we deserved to be loved.

I sit and encourage my friends to wait for the right one and to not settle, but in the same moment, I am looking at my phone to see if the guy that gives me half-hearted attention is texting me.

It is time to take the advice that I have been giving. Because it is time to love myself.

It is time to be the woman I pretend to be. I pretend to be strong and that I fight for what I want. But in reality, I have been scared to fight because I do not want to lose what I have. But in reality, I have nothing.

If you keep giving your attention to someone who does not deserve it, the person that is ready to give you the things you need will realize that your focus is in other places, and will walk away. Because he knows that he is different and if you like the half-hearted guy that gives you attention when he can. You are for sure not ready for the man that knows how to play this game right.

But I am her, I've talked a good game for so long, but I have fooled everyone for quite some time. It is time to take my own advice, it is time to love me, and it is time to expect more, and it is time to know my worth and walk away from someone or something that is not good for me.