A Letter To The Girl Who Feels As Though She Does Not Fit In

A Letter To The Girl Who Feels As Though She Does Not Fit In

Fitting in is overrated.
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To the girl, who feels as though she does not fit in,

I know exactly what it feels like. No matter how much you look around, you see all these people talking, smiling and laughing. All of these people surrounded by friends. All of them just enjoying themselves, but then there's you. Sitting there, by yourself feeling as if no one in the world cares about you.I know all too well how easy it is to feel so alone sitting in a full room. It is all too easy to put yourself in a mood where you think that no one cares about you or that you do not belong.

Just remember that no matter where you are at in the world, there will always be someone close by that feels something close to how you are feeling too. I do not know how many times, during my first year of college that I wanted to drop my college and transfer or just disappear. But thankfully I overcame those feelings. It was not easy at all, it took a plethora of working on myself and getting myself out of my comfort zone.

The first semester of my freshman year of college was horrible. I had very few friends and I missed my best friend and family. Since I lived so close to campus, I would go home practically every weekend. When the second semester finally came around, I decided that my new year's resolution was to get more involved and do more things on campus. I got more involved on campus, by joining a sorority and BUDM. Which is how I met some of the most amazing people. Had I not joined these organizations, I do not know where I would be without the wonderful people and experiences I have gained. Everyone I have met has been wonderful support systems. I even ventured out more, now in my second semester of sophomore year, and I am also apart of Delight and the Odyssey. I have even changed my major! My sophomore year of college has changed my point of view on how to interact with people and has helped me grow immensely.

My main advice for you is to find the place where you feel the most comfortable with those around you. My point is you don't always have to fit in with everyone, but if you get yourself out of your bubble then you wil find more people similar to you. The whole point of college is not only to get your education on but to find yourself, to get yourself out of your comfort zone and learn who you are as a person. It will not be an easy ride, there will be bumps along the way. That feeling of loneliness will eventually go away. It will take time, but getting through those first few stages will eventually subside and you will have some amazing connections. You just have yet to make those connections that make you feel at home. It will take time, but everything that is good is worth waiting for. just be patient and see where life takes you. I can promise that it will be worth the wait.

Cover Image Credit: https://thoughtcatalog.com/becca-martin/2017/06/10-uncomfortable-stages-you-go-through-when-you-move-to-a-new-city-alone/

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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Better Not Bitter

"Let your past make you better, not bitter."

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After completing my junior year at Iowa State, I have found myself reflecting on a lot of the experiences and people who have helped me get to the point I am at today. Family obviously comes to mind, followed by my friends, my sorority sisters, my boyfriend, my professors, and my mentors. I am able to contribute a lot of my success to their support and compassion that they have shown me throughout my past three years. I am also able to contribute my success to the woman I have grown to be and to the woman I have always wanted to be. You see, three years ago, the woman I was was buried in a toxic relationship that didn't allow me to flourish into the woman I was striving to be.

Let me take a step back, this article is not meant to bash the person who it is about. In fact, it's more of a thank you. Because you see, without him letting go of me, I would have never taken the leaps and bounds out of my comfort zone to become the woman I am so damn proud to be today. This is also not meant to say that I am I glad I was in such a toxic relationship, it was honestly so terrible that I wouldn't wish it upon anyone but I am in fact, thankful. I learned more from that relationship that I have in anything else in my life.

First, I learned to be a fighter, and not in a bad way. I learned to stand up for myself and what I believe in. I have become vocal about my passions and stand up for people when they are treated wrong. I no longer let people walk all over me, but rather I stand my ground firmly and confidently. Thank you.

Second, I learned to be fierce. Fierce in love, kindness, compassion, and willpower. I believe in my abilities and the things I am able to accomplish if I set my mind to something. I have learned that in being fierce, there is absolutely no time to doubt myself which has worked greatly in my favor. I learned that demanding respect in all relationships I have formed has been about me making the decision to make myself a priority and learning to never settle for any less than I deserve, ever again. Thank you.

Third, I learned compassion. I learned to be kind to the other woman, and mostly, to the person who chose to hurt me. It took everything in me to remain kind while I was being hurt, but I am so thankful that I stayed true to the values and morals I was raised on. I have carried this with me throughout the past three years by choosing to show compassion to all people around me, and looking deeper into the reasons behind the actions and decisions that people make. Often times there is something going on behind closed doors and because of that, it is important to always, always radiate kindness. Thank you.

I wanted to extend my gratitude to the person who hurt me because if you hadn't, I wouldn't be the badass, boss girl, powerful woman that I am today. I am confident, smart, loving, and fully capable of giving and receiving the kindest, most sincere kind of love. My life has changed for the better, and I wouldn't change a single thing. I wish you the best, because let me tell ya, it feels great.

By the way, if you ever feel like you deserve better than what you're receiving in a relationship, trust your gut & walk the hell away. It's worth it.

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