It may seem like a fairytale. Maybe they're someone you've hoped would notice you for years, or perhaps they're "just a friend" you've been pining after for the better part of your life. Whatever the case may be, now that they've chosen you, you feel giddy inside. You might feel the need to pinch yourself when you wake up to a "good morning" text from them, and when they pick you up for a night out, you feel like you're the luckiest girl in the world.
But don't forget the fairytales we've grown up with often stem from more sinister stories.
I don't mean to be cynical. I'm sure there are plenty of instances of crushes falling for crushes and deep, undying love, but a longtime crush can skew your judgment and put blinders on your emotions.
You tell yourself you're lucky to have him, and I'm sure you are. But don't forget they're lucky to have you. Don't let yourself bend over backward to please them. Don't hide your messy hair in the morning or your love of socks with Birkenstocks. Let them see the raw side of you. The girl with no makeup that snorts when she laughs and gets too loud when she's excited. Just because you've always hoped they'd choose you doesn't mean they've done you some huge favor by doing so. A relationship is a two-party situation, and he is just as lucky to have you as you are to have him.
You are worthy of love, and you deserve to be appreciated.
Be careful not to let the culmination of your hopes and dreams — years or weeks spent wishing he was yours — keep you from seeing the person for who they really are: a human being who is flawed and has quirks. Maybe you two fit together perfectly, and if so, that is wonderful. Conversely, it may be hard to accept that you two may not be a perfect match, and if that's the case, it's OK to admit it. It's OK to love them, and it's just as acceptable to leave them.
Just make sure you're seeing things clearly rather than looking through the filter of puppy love.
Were you younger when you fell for those soft brown eyes? Or did you know them deeply before the spark ignited? Is your relationship built of brick and mortar or the crumbling sand of idealistic premonitions? Take a step back, evaluate your compatibility, and how he makes you feel. Not just the giddiness of a good morning or the sweet smell of a dozen roses, but focus on the little things. Does he do simple things that make you smile? Do you snicker every time he tries to cook a gourmet meal of Hamburger Helper, or does the sight of him brushing his teeth make you want to run for the hills? Does the life he has planned leave space for your growth as well?
Be cautious, know your worth, and know that it's OK to leave the one you've always wanted.
But don't forget, it's OK to love the one you've always wanted too. No one gets to make this decision for you, and no one knows your true feelings but yourself, so evaluate your emotions, take note of your affections, and make sure this relationship is the best fit for who you are and who you want to be.
