The saying “women will marry someone like their father” may be true for most. At one time it was true for me. My father is loyal, strong, independent, a leader and willing to do anything for his children. I want all of these qualities in my future husband and father of my children. At the same time, when looking at this list of great qualities, there seems to be something missing. When I was old enough to start dating, I looked for these qualities in the boys I liked. Some had them, but again there was something missing. At the time I didn’t know what it was, but now I do know what seemed to be missing. That thing that was missing, that has since become the number one thing I look for in a husband, is God.
Since coming to college, I have started to look more closely at the hearts of the guys I like. I have had great examples come into my life in the forms of my guy friends. They have become examples of what I want and need in my future husband. They might not know that I have watched them and their actions towards not only me, but towards their significant other as well. I really could not thank them for the amount of things they have taught me.
What a spiritual leader looks like
I didn’t become a Christian until I was about 14 years old. I wasn’t raised in a Christian home like many of my friends, and so I had no concept of what a Godly man looked like or how they lead their wives and family. My guy friends have been great examples of a Godly man. They have encouraged me to grow in my relationship with God by helping me with any questions I might have, or helping me understand things I have yet to learn or be able to understand.
How to love you in all your faults
I have many faults, like many people, but they have taught me to love those faults in a world where everyone has to fit into a mold. When you don’t then, the world can be a very mean place. I am not someone who fits into this world. I am a larger size, I am loud and I am goofy. I didn’t like these facts about myself growing up, but my friends showed me that I am beautifully made by God, and that won’t change.
How to bring those faults to you kindly
At the same time, there are some things that aren’t so good. There are some places I need to grow in who I am as a person. Some of these things I didn’t know I needed to work on. My guy friends have taught me how to go about reaching out to people and letting them know that maybe something needs to be worked on. It needs to be done softly, kindly and lovingly. My guy friends have done this to me many times, and I thank them for it every time because I would not be who I am as a person.
How to nurture your passions
My friends may not completely understand my passion for what I am doing (I am an art student), but one thing they do understand is the passion I have for something. They are equally passionate about what they do. They are constantly reading or learning more about their area of study. This example alone makes me want to be just like them, to learn about art from all over the world. My passion for art has grown so much because of this.
How to not take the world too seriously, or how to be serious when the need arises
I have the goofiest guy friends ever! They know when to have a good time, and when to not. They understand that there are moments when they need to listen and try to understand. They also know when to make others laugh and have a good time. They understand this more than I did before meeting them. My first instinct is to make everything better by making them laugh, but that is not always the best idea. They have talked to me about it, and I have also so wittedness them doing this. I believe that I have gotten better, but I have a long road ahead of me.
How to wait for the right guy
In a world that tells you you have to accept whatever guy wants you and how he treats you, my guy friends have taught me otherwise. They have advised me against many guys who would not be best for me and what God has called me to do. They each hold characteristics that I would want in my husband. There have been some hard days where I have felt I would never end up being married because no guy would ever like me, but they have sat with me through all of the tears reassuring me that I am worth the love a man of God, and he will come one day.
How to be confident in my intelligence and my questioning of the world around me
One of the hardest things I deal with on a daily basis is if I am intelligent enough to be doing what I want, or even hanging out with the people I consider family. I have never felt very intelligent, but because of my guy friends, I have learned that my intelligence lies in another place. They couldn’t look at a piece of artwork and tell you how it was made, but I could. I am not very intelligent in the areas they are studying, but that is the same for them with mine.
I could not thank my guy friends enough for all they have taught me, as well as what my father has taught me. I know without doubt that I don’t want to marry someone like my father, but at the same time, I don’t want to marry someone like my guy friends. I want to marry someone with both characteristics. I know that he will come one day, and I can’t wait. For now, I am going to keep learning and having fun.
