Ghosting People With No Explanation Is Never OK
Start writing a post
relationships

Ghosting People With No Explanation Is Never OK And We Need To Do Something About It

You aren't just "another option."

517
Ghosting People With No Explanation Is Never OK And We Need To Do Something About It

Ghosting has become such a part of our generation — leaving with no reason given and just going on with your life as if someone had never been a part of it. It is a way of getting someone out of your life without experiencing much loss or any of the consequences. I never knew what it was truly like until I experienced it myself — twice in the same season. There were no explanations given. There were no goodbyes or waving as they walked away. There were no opportunities to ask questions or to get the answers that I so badly wanted.

There was no closure, just someone important in my life one day and gone the next.

Things seemed to look fine and we were getting to know each other. I thought we were enjoying it too. There were no warning signs or red flags that I could see. We didn't have any disagreements that I knew of. I just stopped hearing back one day, for no apparent reason. In both situations I thought we were in the middle of something; maybe something special and genuine. I guess I'll never know if it was real, or just in my head. One is slightly more comforting than the other — to think that someone would get to know the real you, they still walk away.

It took me a little while before I realized what had happened because nothing is wrong with wanting space or being busy. But soon days turned into weeks and weeks into months. After being deliberately ignored, I got the picture. I was being avoided. I was being ignored. I was being left — again. I was being ghosted. When someone says "you weren't worth an explanation" with their actions, I won't keep fighting. I may be hurt, but I will not stay.

I will not beg for someone to not leave who doesn't want to. You and I are worth more than that.

I let the two guys just go with no acknowledgment of what had happened, but something changed with the third. I told him I knew what he did and didn't just let him cut off things the easy way. Maybe he had all the clarity he needed, but I needed it too. I needed to know that I at least tried and that he was aware of what he was doing. It's OK to be hurt about it. It's OK to want answers. It's OK to try to have that brave, but awkward conversation. It's OK to be vulnerable and share your heart, even if it's not returned.

People shouldn't be allowed to just delete people like you delete emails out of your inbox. Relationships and humans are valuable and should be treated with respect. It has become far more common and accepted than ever before. Our generation likes to take the easy road — the one without explanation, raw emotions or answers — the one without a proper ending, goodbye or understood silence.

We're all a little too much in a rush to get to the next big thing.

By doing this, we're missing the present, wherever that may be. Becoming devoted and digging in is so important. Let's not stay in the dark corners, but be fully invested into what we do. Being flaky and noncommittal isn't hot. Shouldn't it be all of us or none of us showing up? We are damaging ourselves and potential opportunities or relationships before they even begin. We can't just be in between places and on the edges of people's lives, hoping something better will come along soon.

Not only is that not fair to others, but it is also is not fair to ourselves. We'll miss a lot of things in life if we keep being noncommittal and indecisive. You need people to show up and stay for you, just as people need you to for them.

Truly leaving someone's life (not stalking their online presence anymore) should be a very careful prayed about decision.

People are not a pair of shoes you can just return if you change your mind when you get home. This is a big deal. Don't treat it lightly. I can guarantee you the other person isn't — you mean something to them. Once something happens to you more than once or twice, it seems to leave a permanent print on you. If we aren't careful, these past fingerprints on our life can cause us to be filled completely with fear. "What if the person that loves me for me leaves too?" we may ask. It can easily make us into someone we don't want to be.

Maybe right now we need to learn to trust more (not everyone will be the same) and begin to let things go. We will become lighter without it. As time goes on and you are strengthened by tough times, your grip will start to loosen once again. If I'm ever going to learn to live and love fully, I've got to trust, let go and repeat.

It doesn't happen overnight, but you and I will both get there, in spite of everything that we've been through.

We get to stay. We can't take every piece of pain from people, but we can stand by them. We can stand and stay, even in the silence when we don't have the right words. Life isn't all sunshine, but I don't want to miss showing up in the rain. I need to live in the trusting and calmness — that is where the deep things happen.

No, it won't be perfect, but it'll be progress and perfectly imperfect for me. We are what we choose, not what has happened to us. Remember, you are more than just another option.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

71886

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

105324
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series

366684
Netflix

Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

229772
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

119396
Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?

305665

Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

14 Last Minute Valentine's Day Gifts Your S.O. Will Love

If they love you, they're not going to care if you didn't get them some expensive diamond necklace or Rolex watch; they just want you.

187363

Let me preface this by saying I am not a bad girlfriend.

I am simply a forgetful one.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

10 Helpful Tips For College Students Taking Online Courses This Semester

Here are several ways to easily pass an online course.

126909
Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels

With spring semester starting, many college students are looking to take courses for the semester. With the pandemic still ongoing, many students are likely looking for the option to take online courses.

Online courses at one time may have seemed like a last minute option for many students, but with the pandemic, they have become more necessary. Online courses can be very different from taking an on-campus course. You may be wondering what the best way to successfully complete an online course is. So, here are 10 helpful tips for any student who is planning on taking online courses this semester!

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments