Here's How I Got My Shit Together, And You Can, Too
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Mental Health

Here's How I Got My Sh*t Together, And You Can, Too

How I got the the five billion pound elephant on my chest to go away.

Here's How I Got My Sh*t Together, And You Can, Too

My first semester freshman year of University life was, fun! It was all fun and games, with the occasional school work and often feeling of an elephant sitting on my chest. For my first semester, my life looked like this:

Eighteen credits (freshman usually take between 14-16), working two part-time jobs, sorority, trying to work out and stay healthy, ingulf myself with new friends, the true "college experience," etc.

I was not doing well, and honestly, it showed in my grades, my body, and my mental health.

My Grades.

I am someone that has to work really, really hard to get even semi-good grades, I have always been that way (I am more of what they call "street smart" not "book smart.") Honestly, I never tried THAT hard in high school. When I got to college, I carried those same habits. I went to class but wasn't really engaged much. I would do my homework if time allowed me to. I didn't make it a priority like I should've in the first place. I got so wrapped up in this new and exciting culture of freedom and what seemed like endless possibilities; that being until winter break hit. I was ashamed I hadn't gotten as good of grades that I hoped to get. I felt guilty for wasting money on classes. I broke down crying to my mom and telling her that I would get my sh*t together.

My Body

I have always been someone that likes to be active and workout. I promised myself no freshman fifteen! Thankfully, nothing ever got that serious but I could tell a major difference in my body. I was not sleeping well, my eating habits were crap, and I felt like a big blob of literally just fat and bones. It's hard to think of yourself this way, especially in college when it seems like every other girl around you is toned and has your dream body. For anyone who has ever felt this way, I am sorry because this is quite possibly the last thing I ever want anyone to feel like.

My Mental Health

Learning to navigate my life without my mom or sister around was harder than I thought it would be. I didn't have that constant shoulder to go to after a long day. I was so beyond stressed and pressed for time all the time that I would literally go to my car if I had a spare moment and bawl my eyes out, just sitting in the parking garage. I felt like I could not breathe, much less enjoy my life. I can't really explain it, but the feeling was more or less a feeling of drowning and never getting to come up for air. I wasn't used to this feeling or how to fix it. I am thankful for the fact that I went to a University that is close enough to my house that I could go stay when I wanted. I went home and used the weekends a lot of the time to try my best to decompress. It was something I looked forward to a lot. I didn't always tell my mom that's why I came home. Sometimes yes, but a lot of times I told her it was because I wanted to sleep in my own bed, which is true because a queen is much better than a crappy dorm twin and I wasn't sleeping much as it was. (sorry, momma, didn't want you to worry)

To recap all of that above; I was overwhelmed, scared to ask for help, and quite frankly just really really sad.

But guess who decided to... get her sh*t together?!?

Cheesy, but on New Year's eve I told myself that I would be better and be me. That was my goal. And here's a little update on how I got my sh*t together and how I feel now.

I now have one job that I work with time I have around my school schedule. My bosses are amazing and understand (as well as reiterate to me constantly) that my schoolwork must and will come first. On that note, I made a promise to myself to make Deans List this semester, so far I am kicking a** and taking names in my classes, even decided on a double major and minor (global studies and religious studies, minoring in mass communication.) I am careful to plan out my homework so procrastination and cramming isn't an issue, granted I am in college and a few late nights do take place in the library, but not to the point where I feel exhausted or don't sleep.

I am now able to start working out almost routinely. I have a new and current obsession with The Madison Tempe, an amazing place I now go to cycle and they kick my butt with the best workouts I've ever had. I am now there multiple times a week, I MAKE time for it because it is something that makes me feel happy and it works out my body. I feel stronger and more body positive this semester as a whole. I cut out soda and unnecessary things that I knew were not doing any good to fuel me the proper way. I do not, not let myself have something like fried chicken if I want it, but I am more contentious of what I am putting into my body on a day to day basis.

I am attempting to spend less time on technology and more time with myself. Now instead of watching Netflix on my laptop to fall asleep, I have tried to start reading things to naturally wind down my brain and relax. I still go home to see my family but now it's even more enjoyable and it's more of a want than it is a need. I know it seems weird to most college students to go home to see family often but it is one of the big reasons I wanted to stay closer to home.

It seems crazy to me that just a few months ago my life seemed out of control, and I am thankful for the fact that I now have time to actually do the things I want, I am confident in my schoolwork, and I am actually happy (obviously this is not a perfect world and I am not happy 24/7 but as a general rule.)

I am not the type of person to usually put things like this about my personal life out there, I am very prideful and try my hardest to put on a brave face. I did this article because I want everyone who may or may not be experiencing the same thing to realize it's ok, and you can figure it out. It doesn't happen overnight, sit down and plan things out, ask for help, remember to breathe.
Put in the effort to get your life and your sh*t together, and it'll happen.
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