Rick and Morty Quotes to Live By
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The most hilarious 'Rick and Morty' quotes and Episodes

Best lines, best episodes, best times to come

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Adult Swim

There was sad news that our beloved Rick and Morty would be canceled, but then Dan Harmon, creator and producer, came forth and announced that there would be 70 new episodes airing soon! What does that mean for all of the fans?

That means 70 more wild adventures with the alcoholic scientist and moronic grandson. That means the return of Bird Person, except now he's a robotic Phoenix, so Phoenix Person? We'll see if Jerry and Beth can stay together after their divorce, if Summer will be totally popular, and if Evil Morty can continue his reign over the Citadel of Ricks.

In preparation for the many episodes to come our way, here are the best one-liners, characters, and scenes from the show that brought you Interdimensional Cable II.

1. "You're both pieces of shit and I can prove that mathematically." -Rick

Rick even breaks out his whiteboard to further explain how Morty and Summer are, as Rick explains, "both pieces of shit."

2. "Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's going to die. Come watch TV." -Morty

Arguably the most impactful quote from Morty. He's trying to keep Summer from running away and doing something with turquoise, so he shows her his dead body is buried in the backyard.

3. "Where are my testicles, Summer?" -Snowball

When Snowball (as he prefers to be called) becomes self-aware and raises a dog army, he confronts Summer in her room and begins his intense line of questioning. Makes you feel kind of bad for getting your pets "fixed."

4. "I know how to crawl through a tube." -Jerry

Not exactly the best and most memorable quote, but the situation and Jerry's tone made it all so much funnier. He's at Jerry Jamboree, a daycare for Jerrys from all different universes, and he tries to leave through a tube, snapping at the daycare attendant who tells him that he's doing a great job of crawling.

5. "Oh, Summer. First race war, huh?" -Morty

Summer and Morty are on the planet that Unity has taken over when suddenly, the individuals gain control of themselves again. They start a war caused by the different kinds of nipples the people have, to which Summer tries to reason with, "Why are you fighting? Can't you see you're all the same?"

6. "Well then get your shit together..." -Morty

"Well then get your shit together, get it all together, and put it in a backpack, all your shit, so it’s together. And if you gotta take it somewhere, take it somewhere, you know. Take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in the shit museum. I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together. Get your shit together." Thank you for the advice, Morty.

7. "If there's a wiener on that monitor, I swear to God, Stu." -Scammer

The whole idea that these alien scammers are disgusted by nudity is great because it leads to a lot of funny moments where Rick and Morty must run around nude in order to keep out of the watchful eye of the scammers.

8. "I'm sorry, but your opinion means very little to me." -Rick

Just a great line to use whenever someone is trying to ruin your vibe, right Summer?

9. "Don't break an arm jerking yourself off." -Rick

Morty has a moment of self-confidence, which Rick immediately shuts down. Another great moment in television history, really.

10. "I just want to go back to Hell, where everyone thinks I'm smart and funny." -The Devil

The Devil's been beaten at his own game by Rick after he's lost all of his demonic items and is put out of business. He even says that Rick himself is the devil.

11. "I refuse to answer a literal call to adventure, Morty. Let it go to voicemail." -Rick

The Vindicators need Rick and Morty's help, although Rick couldn't be bothered with trying to help. Morty uses his "1 in every 10 adventures" card to redeem this adventure with The Vindicators.

12. "You f**ked with squirrels, Morty?" -Rick

After Morty has the ability to understand animals, he listens in on squirrels hatching a plan to take over the world. Rick knows they're in trouble so he knocks out all of the squirrels and tells Morty to pack his bags.

Best episodes:

-Pickle Rick

-Morty's Mind-Blowers

-Anatomy Park

-Rixty Minutes

-Interdimensional Cable II

-Lawnmower Dog

-The Ricklantis Mixup

-Total Rickall

-Look who's purging now


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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