How To Get Out Of Your Head And Into The World

How To Get Out Of Your Head And Into The World

Before you waste your time wish you were in the past, take a step back.

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Let's face it, we spend way too much time reminiscing. We hear our friends talking about their day, then we remember that one time that we stayed up all night sitting around a campfire with old friends. "Good times", we think to ourselves. Then we scroll through the 6,000 pictures that we hoard in our camera roll. We obsess over how much skinnier we looked in 2015, or how much fun our 16th birthday was. Reminiscing allows us to escape: to a "better" time, a "better" you, a "better" life. Our brains tend to exaggerate the positive emotions associated with any particular memory. We remember the laughs, hugs, and happiness that our high school years brought. But we never remember the bullying, depression, and tears that came with it.

I'm about to be brutally honest here:

You're not perfect. Neither is your life. It never has been, and it never will be. You have to take the bad with the good, and that's life.

So when you are reminiscing about the "good old days", try not to get to caught up in how "great" things seemed then. We have been overcoming obstacles since we left the womb, and just because those obstacles don't pop up in your memory, doesn't mean your life WAS great.

Life IS great. Here. Today. In the present.

If you keep getting hung up in your memories, you will never be able to make new ones. It's like watching the same movie over and over again. It doesn't matter how great the movie is, eventually you have to move on. Change it up. Watch something new.

Okay, I know life is more complex than binge watching movies, but hopefully you are starting to get my drift.

Get out of your head, and get into the world.

Take a walk, host a campfire, check out a new coffee shop, do a random act of kindness for someone. Get out of your camera roll. Make some new memories. I'm not saying that you need a new family and new friends, I'm saying give them a call. Stop stalking their Instagram wishing you could go back to the "good old middle school days." (I hate to break it to you, but middle school was full of acne, bullying, and self-hate.) Before you waste your time wishing you were in the past, take a step back.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Be present.

You got this.

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It Is OK To Have Guy Friends That Are Literally Just Guy Friends

Some of my best friends are guys and sometimes they are better friends than girls are.

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Lately, I have come to the realization that some of my guy friends are better then some girls I call my "friends". Ever since middle school, I have always had many guy friends that have always been just guy friends, and nothing more. Some girls had a problem with it back then and they still do now, maybe because they are jealous, or maybe because they feel left out. However, I decided a long time ago to keep those guy friends for reasons like...

1. They Don't Take Things So Seriously

You can always joke around with them, and they will joke around with you right back. You can be as nice as you want or as mean as you want to them, and they will always take it as joke. I think that sometimes girls have a difficult time deciphering between when you are being serious or when you are joking. Most of my guys friends tend to not things too seriously at least 75% of the time.

2. They Are Always Honest

When I need a blatantly honest opinion I always ask my guy friends (and my mom). I do this because guys do not really care about whether or not their response will make you mad. Also, guys do not think about if their answer will benefit them personally or not before they answer.

3. They Genuinely Listen To You

Not all the time. But when I am upset, they are always the ones most concerned. Some of my guy friends take over the "big brother" role when it comes to some situations. My guy friends always listen to my problems or just the same old rants I give all the time because if something is wrong, or something has hurt me, they want to know, in order for them to try and fix it.

I am not trying to say that my girl friends are not my best friends either, and I really do have the best best friend. But sometimes, it just feels good to hangout with my guy friends. Guy friends, that I have never had a romantic relationship or feelings for and they have not had for me. These guys have always been there, and for that I am grateful.

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Finding Your Niche In College Starts With Finding You

Attempting to be someone you are not for the sake of having company only hurts you in the long run.

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Transitioning to college is hard enough, but trying to find a place where you feel "at home" can make this time even more stressful. Here are some tips on how to find that place/group of people that make you feel like sunshine.

I have always felt a little out of place wherever I went, but it wasn't until college that I realized that this feeling was so special and more people should capitalize on their differences rather than conforming to a certain mold. Transitioning to college and finding your place among so many people can be very overwhelming. The added stress of attempting to be someone you aren't for the sake of having company adds a whole other layer to this problem. The easiest thing for me to do in any situation like this is trying to make the setting a little smaller. One of the most obvious ways to do this on a college campus is by getting involved!

It is inevitable that within the first few weeks of the semester at any college, there will be an organization fair. This is a chance to scope out all that your school has to offer! Chances are there will be some type of group or club that lines up with your interests. Most college campuses have extracurricular opportunities ranging from social sororities and fraternities, professional ones, intermural sports, vocal groups, and so many more. You are more than likely going to find some type of organization that you can call home if you seek them out. Joining an organization is such an easy way to interact with people with similar interests. An interest can bring two completely different people together and create some beautiful friendships. It is situations like this where it is important to be your authentic self and mingle with those you share something with.

That being said, finding your place in college isn't always about being involved. Getting involved on campus is just one of the simplest ways to start. There are so many other opportunities on campus to meet people whether it be among others in your residence hall, people in your classes, or just people you find yourself stumbling upon! Finding people to spend your time with is easy; however, you should make it a point to surround yourself with people who bring you up.

Once you have a set group of people that you find yourself spending time with, it is important to pay attention to the way you feel when you're around them. If you find yourself feeling bad about yourself or get the impression that you need to change something in order to "fit in," chances are the people you're around are not the best for you or your self-esteem. It is important to surround yourself with people who allow you to feel comfortable in your own skin. That being said, you also want people who encourage you to make good decisions and help you reach your goals. People who encourage toxic behavior in your life might be fun in the short term, but in the grand scheme of things, you need to be surrounded by people with your best interest in mind. Essentially, surrounding yourself with people who influence you to be your best self is one of the best decisions you can make short and long term.

The key to all of this is being conscious of your own feelings and needs. Pay attention to who reaches out to you to hang out. Notice the ones who pay attention to you as you speak when it feels like no one is listening. More than anything, be conscious of who you're with and where you're at when you experience moments of pure happiness. Life is too short to waste your precious time on people who don't build you up. Wouldn't you rather spend your time with more moments of pure joy than self-hate? Start living for you!

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