As stated in a previous article, "How I Didn't Come Out," I didn't necessarily get the chance to come out to my immediate family. I was more or less dragged out of the closet, but it was good for me. If that didn't happen, I probably never would have come out to them. Partially because of fear and partially because of who my family thought I was. I'm the young girl who can't make up her mind and being pansexual just solidified that. After changing my major multiple times, this just seemed like I couldn't make up my mind.
Luckily, they helped me out of the closet and I felt comfortable enough to write an article about my experience... thus coming out to friends, extended family, other loved ones and complete strangers through social media. Then I became The Gay Cousin™. Most Gay Cousins™ will say they had a similar experience to mine, but here are some things that could happen when you take on your roll as The Gay Cousin™.
1. To your family, you become the face of the LGBTQ+ community
This is probably how at least some of my family sees me.
2. You can hear them say, "Well, you know my cousin's part of the LGBTQ+ community and she told me..."
And listen to me very closely: this is the best thing your family can do. Spread awareness. Spread knowledge. If they know something, let them tell their friends and loved ones. Let them share what they know about the community, because the more they share the more people who will feel personally connected to our community.
3. You become their #1 person when they have questions
Again, this is amazing. If they're asking questions, it means that they care. They want to know more. And you're the one answering them, meaning they're getting good answers for their questions! Woo!
4. You are the advocate for the LGBTQ+ community
Okay, you kind of are though. Whenever your family makes vague comments about the entire community, you're there to debunk them. It's true.
5. "So, is there a... special... person... in your life?"
Please don't ask this. I'll tell you if there's a special person in my life... if I want to. Chances are, "kind of" or "not really" is going to be my answer.
6. "How many people have you been with?"
I really don't think I need to add a comment here. That says it all.
7. You remind everyone all the time that you're not different. Just LGBTQ+.
It's simple. Stop asking what it's like dating as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, because it's basically the same.
8. "How did you find out you're gay?"
Just like that.
9. "I know someone who would be GREAT for you, and she's gay too!"
It's really not, though.
10. Explaining a million times that being part of the LGBTQ+ community doesn't necessarily mean being gay
It's okay to only be a little gay.
11. Unconditional love and support
Here's the response I received from my original article coming out to my friends and extended family. Cousins, aunts, uncles, friends and basically everyone in between showed their support, and it really meant a lot to me.
Honestly? I love being The Gay Cousin™.
