"When you raise standards, only the boys will disappear. The men will step up to meet them."
~Mandy Hale

We met at a young age and it was at the time where everything felt so magical, almost like nothing could ever go wrong. Your words could persuade me into anything and I knew that with you by my side, I could get through anything. But the worst thing that could ever happen to me happened; you gave up on me and the love we shared for each other.

I went through a dark time of pain and sadness because of you. I forgot who I was because you were the one thing that made me feel so alive and when I lost you, I lost my whole world. I was the girl who was ready to do anything for you, no matter what the situation might have been. I was mainly the girl who would never stop waiting for you and after some time, you were back in my life and I didn't have to wait anymore.

Everything started again like it had in the beginning. Your words had more power over me than ever before. My life felt like all the pieces had been put back together and the sadness had disappeared. The best thing was that it felt like you were serious about me again, but the truth was completely different than that. We lasted two weeks after finding our way back to each other. I went to bed one night after you had texted me saying "Goodnight, I love you," only to wake up the next to not find my "good morning" text and then a few hours later, you told me it was over.. again. I wasn't surprised to find this happening again three months later and the cycle continued on for two years. I felt like it was a game that you loved to play almost more than you loved me.

At the time, I didn't see how much of my life I was wasting by always waiting on someone who really didn't care about me. You can say you love someone all you want, but that doesn't mean you actually mean it. I was hurt over and over again until there was nothing left of me that you could destroy.

I built a brick wall around my heart and monitored who I let into it. It is because of you being a boy who could never grow up that I will never be able to love like that again. You are the reason that my life was on hold for two years and I don't think that I will ever be able to forgive you for that. I may be able to move on and forget it, but I could never fully grant you access to my heart again, because the truth is, a person can only handle so much heartbreak.

I had hundreds of people tell me that I was too good for you and that I should have never been treated the way you treated me. Even after everyone's comments about you and the looks they gave me for texting you back, I was still there by your side when you needed me. I never wanted to give up on you or what we had, but I had to. I had to do it so that I could move on and find something better. I had to get passed this never-ending game.

It wasn't long ago that you were trying to come back into my life and I didn't want to leave you or say no to you, but I had to because I thought you hadn't grown up. I thought that you were still that same young boy who I met three years ago, but that is where I went wrong. You are actually completely opposite, but so am I. We have both changed dramatically and have grown into being different people. The only problem with that is that instead of changing and growing together, we drifted miles and miles away from each other.

I have seen you with the girl who took my place and you both seem genuinely happy. You two have found a way to make your relationship last longer than one month at a time and that is truly amazing. It seems like she is always there for you, even in ways that I couldn't be and I admire her for that. I hope you guys can make it work and that you two will get to be happy together for a really long time. Even though you destroyed my heart, I will always wish you the best, because that is just who I am.

I regret that I never chose to see you evolve into the young man you are now, but I don't regret not giving you another chance. I hope you know how truly sorry I am for only seeing you as a boy because that was completely wrong of me. I hope you understand that it took everything in me to give up on you because I don't like to give up on people. I hope you know that you were my first love and that you'll always hold a special place in my heart, no matter how many times you broke it.

I would like to tell you how thankful I am for you coming into my life. You gave me the love I always wanted, even if it didn't last. Don't get me wrong, I would have loved for it to last forever because who knows where we would be today. But the truth is, if we were meant to be, we would still be together.

We met at a young age and you changed my life forever. You gave me hope that through all of the darkness in this world, love was the one thing that could save everyone. God put you into my life for a reason that I can never repay him for. I have learned a lot from you and became a better version of myself because of you. Most of all, I am thankful for getting the chance to be able to love you and be loved by you, even though I got hurt in the end. I am greatful that I had the opportunity for love because in this life, some people never get the chance to love at all.

Sincerely,

The Girl You Met In Science Class