It probably wasn’t easy. I put you through hell and back. You were my best friend, my confidant, my peanut butter to my jelly. But I hurt you. I pushed you away. But somehow you forgave me. You put me back in your life and I can’t seem to thank you enough.
Losing you was probably the biggest mistake of my life. We did everything together and we were inseparable. From our karaoke car rides to our hilarious selfies, we were crazy, together. I always told myself that you were going to be in my life forever. I told myself that you were going to be maid of honor, my children’s godmother, my checkers partner in the nursing home. Our pictures covered my memory board and my dash. You were my everything.
But eventually I lost you. I lost my maid of honor in my wedding. I lost my future children’s godmother. I lost my nursing home checkers player. I lost my best friend. When I lost you, I lost, what felt like, the world. My heart was in a riot and the only thing I could do was cry. I could run, but that reminded me of you. I could listen to music, but that reminded me of you. I could stress eat, but it reminded me of our late night runs to get ice cream. I could go for a drive, but that reminded me of you. I could go to a party, but who was I supposed to walk home with?
I couldn’t shake you. I saw you in places that you weren’t at. I saw your face behind me in my selfies, but you were never there. I saw you running away after you left. I saw you at work, even if you weren’t working. You were something that my head, and my heart couldn’t let go of.
After a while, I learned how to handle not having you around. I learned how to make new friends, how to approve my own boyfriends, and how to sing in the car without a harmony part. Although I learned how to handle the fact of you being gone, you never truly left my mind. You still clouded every thought, every memory, and every moment of my life; realizing that every amazing moment in my life, I had no one to tell anymore.
Then one day, your name popped up in my text messages. My heart sunk. Just the thought that you still had my number in your phone made my stomach drop. My hands shook as I sat there hoping for any sign that you were coming back. Then the word that I had been longing to hear blurred my vision: forgive. You forgave me. You forgave what I did, and what I put you through. You let me work on everything and try to earn your trust back.
Now you have to understand my excitement when you gave me everything I had hoped to have for eight months: a second chance. I couldn’t see straight. The tears streaming down my face this time weren’t because I lost you, but because I was on my way to getting you back.
But here is my promise to you: I’m not going to waste my second chance. I’m going to prove to you that you still are going to be my maid of honor, my kids’ godmother, and my checkers partner, if you want to be. I’m going to prove that I deserve your trust again. I’m going to prove to you that this time, things will be how they were supposed to be the first time, because I’ve learned that you are the one person that I honestly can’t live without.
So, thank you for giving me a second chance and letting me prove to you that there is nothing better than karaoke car rides and late-night DQ.
Sincerely,
Me
