The game of basketball means so much to me. I loved the sound of the sneakers against the hardwood, the adrenaline rush as the clock struck and the camaraderie that came from working as a team. Although an ongoing injury kept me from still playing the game, there was something else that factored into my desire to leave the game for good.

Coaches. Growing up, a coach is someone I immediately respected. I was always trying to do the right thing, listen to what they wanted to be done, and I constantly strove to gain their approval. The game of basketball meant a lot to me, yes, but I knew the game with me in it was only going to last for a few more years.

Basketball to me was a feeling of home. It improved my confidence. It helped form me into the leader I am today. I have never had the same confidence level or feeling of acceptance as I did when I was on a basketball court. I was proud of my game because I worked for it. I sat in the gym and continuously got shots up because I loved to shoot the ball. There was no better feeling than seeing a 2-3 zone and heading down to the three-point line, which slowly became the place I was the most confidence at, and the place I had worked my butt off to be.

However, I courageously made the decision to halt my career before I came to college. I wanted basketball to be something that was fun and competitive, but I had no desire to continue to a higher level. Sue me for wanting to live the complete college experience.

Any coach will have a profound effect on its team and its players. Young adults model behavior after their coach. A coach is expected to uplift a team and to not bring them down. He or she is expected to motivate and to not discourage. A coach is expected to provide constructive criticism, but to do it in a way that doesn't deter them from their worth.

I have always loved the competitive nature of every sport, but when a coach continues to remind you of your mistakes, focuses on the past game or the past possession, it's hard to move on.

What some coaches don't understand is that there is a thing for coaching too much. There is always that one person that takes the hit for the team. It is unfair and it brings the player down. I've experienced first-hand a team with a coach that did nothing but make the players scared to step onto the court every day (in fear of making a mistake or upsetting the coaches and never hearing the end of it).

The love for the game is sucked out of you every time you step into that kind of atmosphere. The fun is gone. The team camaraderie is gone. The desire to improve your game is gone because nothing you can do can be right in their eyes.

As a player it's frustrating. It's frustrating when your team is frustrated. It's frustrating when your coach doesn't take the time to understand you as a player. It's frustrating to put in the work and to never get acknowledged or to be stripped from opportunities that you've worked so hard for.

It's safe to say that I will probably never play basketball at the same level that I once did. I can say that "I got injured" and I can try to take the easy way out of leaving the game. But what made me leave the game was the frustration of never feeling good enough; I was tired of the negativity that was constantly flowing through the gym.

It took me several months to not be upset when I saw teams that constantly hung out together, had a coach that they felt comfortable being around and accepted by, and to think that maybe if I had coaches that cared about me and allowed me to blossom, that I too could've played the game for two more years. Now, I've accepted it. I've found peace in the fact that I can still love the game, but in a different way.

However, it pains me to continue to see young kids going through the same experiences. The meaning behind the game is different for everyone and there's no reason to treat others differently because of that.