It's human nature for us to compare ourselves with others in various aspects of our lives. Whether it's in school, work, sports, or even relationships, we all strive to be the best. In some ways, we are taught from an early age to observe others' actions and strive to achieve the same with our own behavior. In school the teacher may point out how well one student performs a task and challenges the rest of the class to do the same. At home, your parents might ask you why you can't be more like your older sibling. So no wonder we have a tendency to constantly look to others as a measure for our own success.
In a world dominated by advancing technology, social media can be deceiving. We look at other people's lives through pictures and tweets and wonder why ours' can't be just as exciting. By scrolling mindlessly through Instagram with pictures of friends laughing, seeming to be having the time of their lives, we see how great everyone is doing, or so we think.
Social media sometimes makes me feel lonely, like I'm not doing enough, or I am somehow missing out on something. Pictures of people traveling the world or people with seemingly perfect bodies can easily make you feel like you are not enough. In reality, what we see on Facebook, Snapchat, and other social media platforms are solely glimpses of people's lives. A picture may be "worth a thousand words", but it does not tell the entire story.
In this world, we are commended for being successful and happy with ourselves. So of course people aren't going to be boasting about their lows and struggles, about how they were just crying, got in a fight with a friend, or just failed a test. We rarely see any of this on social media. The internet often fails to capture reality- the low points in people's lives and the sacrifices, hardship, and pain it takes a person to reach their goal.
Every person is distinctly unique, each with different values, desires and goals. While it can be incredibly easy to think, "Why does this person have this and I don't?" or "This person doesn't even try and I'm working twice as hard.", you don't know where the person you are comparing yourself to is at in their own journey and how they got where they are. I once studied nonstop for a difficult test, for two weeks in advance every day for hours, and felt nothing short of prepared going into it. When I didn't get nearly the score I wanted, I couldn't help but feel worthless after knowing my classmate did way better and didn't even study. It can feel not only disappointing, but also unfair when you see others thriving, especially those with a similar goal as you. But you don't know the circumstances. Maybe my classmate studied and worked harder than I did, or studied smarter. Maybe she was being truthful and just naturally excels in chemistry. Either way, even as people around you are succeeding, you need to keep in mind that you are clueless to what the person has been through, and their achievements most likely came along with obstacles.
The best way to stop the self-doubt that accompanies comparison is to be happy for that person and embrace where you are at in your life and how far you have come. Once you accept that no one's journey is identical and we will all peak at different times, realize you are just as deserving of success, and keep working diligently for what you want, then you will gain confidence and nothing will stop you. Think positively and visualize the ideal version of yourself- the person you strive to become, whether this means to be kinder, healthier, more friendly, or to land your dream job. Focus on you and stop being so concerned with others. If you stop competing with others and compete more with yourself, your confidence will grow. Try to better yourself every day and focus on your growth because if you are happy with yourself, then nothing else matters.
