It isn't exactly valentines day, but can you really stop love? Love is always in the air they say. I mean romance is cute and all, but lets face it, it's not all sunshine and flowers all the time. The best part about this so-called "romance" is probably cheesy pick-lines that people actually think work. Come on, laugh with me a little.
1. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I see myself in your pants.
First of all, EXCUSE ME? You haven't even met me yet, but you want to get in my pants. Back off buddy, this right here isn't free. You got to work for that. I'm worth more than your wallet and your life put together so think about what you just said and slap yourself silly for me. Like, goodness, be a gentleman or gentle-lady. Actually, forget that, you're cut off. Hashtag never happening. The next pick-up line is ridiculous. Let's go.
2. Did you fall from the vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Well, hello there. Here is my number, text me when you wanna get serious. Who doesn't want to be a snack? But actually, can I be offended for a minute. Why not a meal? A feast? A freaking festival? I'm just a snack? A snack; a cheap $1.25 snack. Actually, forget my number bro, I want someone who's willing to pay more for me. I mean, at least give me some credit and tell me I'm worth more than a cheap snack. Bye, bye, see you in Neverland. Let's try again on the next one.
3. Are you lost, ma'am? Cause heaven is a long way from here.
Cue the aw's. Lost? Probably, I'm directionally challenged and I'm probably looking for the nearest snack. *Wink, wink* HA HA, get it? Probably not, but let's get back on track. I mean honestly, I have never heard anyone use this pick-up line right here, but would it actually work in real life? For me? No, I would probably laugh and throw my mirror at them. Gah, refer to pick-up line number one, please. I make myself laugh too much. Anyways... Moving on.
4. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
... Next.
5. If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
I better not mean nothing to you. I better be your everything. Your soul, your every breath, the reason why you still exist. That's a bit dramatic, but that person is a bit rude. Nothing my butt. Buddy, if that's the best you can do, come find me when you've got something better.
6. Hey, tie your shoes! I don't want you falling for anyone else.
That is the sweetest thing anyone has said. You just want me to bend down for you. You almost got me, but you didn't. A for effort, right? I actually had to tie my shoes this morning, so thank you. I probably would have fell to the ground if it wasn't for you. Maybe, you want to tie my shoes for me?
