Dear Millennial,

I want to talk to you, millennial to millennial. We understand each other. We have similar experiences and certain labels that we are expected to fit simply because we are classified "Millennial." We are children of the baby-boomers. We are both a part of the 90's kids and the technological generation. We speak social media fluently, we enjoy artsy coffee and graphic tees. We are labeled idealistic, lazy, wild, disrespectful, powerful, expected to change the world and also simultaneously expected to screw the world up. The point is, a lot of older generations have their opinions of us. We also have our own opinions of what our generation is supposed to be like. Some things represent us well and others do not.

As with any generation there are things that make us awesome and things we kind of suck at. For example, we rock technology but we suck sometimes at face-to-face communication; we have come to understand mental illness, pay attention to it, and do something about it but we are a more anxious generation than most of the ones before us, we also lack good coping skills; we are adventurers and world changers but sometimes we care more about posting our adventures and world changing than living in those moments. We have embraced people of different backgrounds and walks of life but sometimes we lose sight of our own values, morals and roots. There are a lot of wonderful things about us but also a lot of things we could grow in.

I am putting myself in that category. I'm a millennial and I want to figure it out, too. I have been unimaginably blessed with great mentors, teachers, family, friends, divine interventions and crazy lessons that have helped me to examine what it is like to be my age in our current world. I would like to think that I have learned a few things, but I also know that I have much still to learn. But dear fellow millennial, please open yourself up to growing and being changed. Decide for yourself who to be. I hope to help by offering up some lessons I have learned as a millennial so far:

1. Busyness is a choice.

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I can't take credit for this one. I had an amazing professor recently who challenged this idea of always being busy. For some reason, our generation prides themselves on how busy they are. It's like a mark of our identity--"Hey, how are?" "Oh, just busy!" Well, now when I hear that I want to make one of those bad dad-jokes, "Hi, busy! Nice to meet you, I'm Rachael." This professor said to us during one class "Busyness is a choice. The only thing you don't decide in life is when you're born and you die. There might be consequences for the choice you make, but it's still a choice." So if your schedule is full, no one is twisting your arm. You can choose to lighten the load, but it is your choice. How busy you are does not determine how important you are.

2. If you don't do something, it's not a priority.

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Again, this one isn't me. We are a generation that loves to procrastinate! We cram on papers, work deadlines, projects-- you name it! I am a college student and I love to tell people about how "I am going to finish this project, I just have *this* and *that* and then I have to go *here*" (or "I didn't finish this because...,) but really if we are honest with ourselves, we can make excuses for why something didn't happen but the honest answer is if we don't do something, it's because it's not a priority to us.

3. You don't have to like everything that everyone else does, A.K.A. care about the same things or follow certain trends.

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I go to a small Christian College and I am a Christian Ministry major. Literally all of my friends have worked as camp counselors and love youth ministry. I like kids too, I think they are a joy but for a long while I thought I had to be super passionate about working with the youth of the world because that's what my friends were doing. I figured they just love Jesus more so that's why they like kids so much. What I learned later is that we all have unique gifts and that's okay. I had this revelation in the kitchen of my apartment a couple of months ago with my roommate. I started talking about some of my passions and I realized that none of them involved working with kids. That's just not me. I literally started crying because I had never admitted out loud that I didn't share the same passion for them. Don't feel like you have to like something because it's what's expected.

4. Learn proper coping skills.

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One pattern in our generation is that we have glamorized over-emotionalism. We love to talk about how stressed we are, or how anxious we are or how we just want to break down. We have made the "B.F" a thing that is accepted as proper behavior for an adult when it is actually just a tantrum, fit for a toddler. When we get angry, we don't deal with it in a healthy way. We wait for the remarks and hugs to flatter us and make us feel warm and cozy about all of our feelings, but we don't deal with them. We tweet our feelings, we don't confront people who have wronged us or who we have wronged, we seek sympathy for everything; and really, the reason we do this is for attention. Anxiety, depression, anger-- those things are real. They aren't meant for us to use to get sympathy. Those things are real issues and we have to take control of them in healthy ways. Instead of waiting to be coddled by someone because it makes us feel better about our feelings, we have to address the problems head on. We will just continue to remain a fragile generation on the verge of emotional breakdown unless we take action now.

5. We are idealistic and that is beautiful.

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We are criticized a LOT for being an idealistic generation. But you know what I think? We need dreamers in this world. If people like the Wright Brothers or Henry Ford weren't idealists, we might still be travelling horse and buggy style. Not every idea is a good one, not every movement will produce lasting change, but some of them will. So you be an idealist, just also be willing to follow through.

6. Make face-to-face interaction good again.

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Admit it, we suck at this. While the technological world we live in is great, it has created a bunch of people who don't know how to talk anymore. We think we have solid friendships until we try and sit down face-to-face. Usually, we resort to playing on our phones because the awkwardness becomes too much. I have tried a new thing where if I meet someone new I ask them to get coffee with me so I can ask about them and learn from them in a real capacity. It feels good to be taken notice of and that is something we miss out on when we skip out on face-to-face interaction by using our phones to talk to each other or to fill time.

Speaking of phones:

7. Take in the moment instead of pictures.

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Okay. You know you are guilty of this one. We love

to appear like we have a super cool life, but in reality the way to having a cool life is to actually have one. If your Instagram in on fleek, chances are your life isn't. It takes work to keep great pictures constantly posted online. I love when I look at old pictures with my mom or dad because they will see a picture and remember the moment it came from and they have stories behind them and memories. They cause laughter and tears. I'm afraid that we won't be able to tell our kids those stories because we won't remember them. A) because most of our pictures are selfies or of our coffee, and B) because we were more focused on the picture than the moment itself. Do yourself and your future children a favor and make sure that you remember the story.

8. You don't need to be praised for everything.

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We come from the generation of participation awards and "A's for effort." We expect to be rewarded just for trying. But folks, the world doesn't work that way. Take it from someone who was always praised as a kid and fell on their face as an adult. When I got to college, I had no idea how to handle not being praised for everything. After much soul searching, I have realized something: I am not good at everything. I don't deserve a reward for everything. If I excel and someone chooses to praise me- awesome! If not, great! I will keep rocking anyway because I know that I am valuable and I don't need someone to tell me.

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Being a millennial is great. I know that one day our kids will ask, what was it like when you were a kid? And there will be many great things to tell them about what our journey has been like so far. But please take some of these lessons and learn from them and also, learn your own lessons. Our world is changing fast and there is a lot to learn and to embrace. Us millennials have a unique advantage to be an awesome generation! So let's do it.

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