I met my best friend, Hazel when we were in seventh grade. We spent all the time we could together, and even though we went to different high schools, our friendship remained strong. Senior year brings a lot of changes for us everyone, and that was especially true for Hazel. Just a month before she graduated, Hazel was baptized as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, also known as the LDS church, or the Mormon church. The summer before we both moved out of state for college, she met a boy, Blake. In the past, she hadn’t had the best luck with boyfriends, but this one was different. He seemed kinder and more genuine than her previous boyfriends, and they bonded over their shared religion. Even though she lived in northern California and he in southern, and they went to college in different states, their relationship stayed strong.
In November, Hazel texted me that she wanted me to know that she and Blake had started talking about getting married (immediately saying I would obviously be a bridesmaid). At first I thought she was out of her mind. We were both only 18 when she told me this, and she would have her wedding at 19. All I could think about was how horribly I thought this would go. She had just converted to this religion where getting married young was the norm, and had already made the decision to transfer to the church owned school where her then boyfriend attends. They had only known each other for a few months, and wouldn't even know each other for a year when the wedding happened. I thought she was totally rushing into it. Still, they shortly got engaged and set a wedding date. I knew it was ultimately a decision that had nothing to do with me, but I still felt uneasy about the whole situation. This was the girl that I would sing along to Ke$ha with and text boys from neighboring schools with when I was 12, how could she possibly be ready to get married?
I had still never met Blake, and even though Hazel assured me he was amazing, I still wanted to meet him before the wedding. So during my spring break, I flew from Vermont to Utah, where they now both attend university. I was fully prepared to hate him and tell Hazel to run, but he was just as caring, sincere, funny, and friendly as I had hoped. That trip really made me feel confident and secure about their upcoming marriage.
Hazel’s wedding, in San Diego, was the day after my exams ended in Vermont. It was a long day of traveling, but I made it to California late the night before the wedding. We stayed together in a hotel, and the next morning, we woke up early, got ready, and headed to the temple where the marriage, (called a sealing in the LDS church) would happen. The temple is an extremely holy building to the church, LDS church members who meet certain standards can enter the temples and watch the ceremony. Neither I nor anyone in Hazel’s family are Mormon, so while Hazel, Blake, and parts of Blake’s family went in to watch, I stayed outside with Hazel’s younger sister and mom. We walked around the gorgeous temple grounds and got asked to leave the waiting room for being on our phones (oops). Soon enough, the happy couple stepped out of the temple and we all headed to the reception site. The reception and ring ceremony were held at a local Mormon church, which is different than a temple. Since LDS sealings are small and not everyone could attend, they had a ring ceremony for everyone to watch. It was a truly beautiful ceremony, and I even got a special role reading a poem I chose. I bonded with Hazel’s former roommate, ate lots of food, and of course, caught the bride’s bouquet.
As weird as I thought it would be, my best friend’s marriage seemed so normal to me. I went from hating the very idea of her being engaged to absolutely loving her husband and being used to calling her by a new last name. I’ve realized that just because my plans don’t include being married anytime soon, doesn’t make her decision less valid. Before the wedding, my attitude toward her upcoming marriage was a noncommittal “whatever makes her happy, I guess,” but now I realize that her husband and new life truly do make her the happiest she could be right now. What else could you want for your best friend?
