I would have never thought in a million years that I would lose my best friend. We did everything together. From sleepovers and beach days to family vacations, there are so many things my best friend and I experienced together. But there was a point in our friendship that I thought I wouldn’t see the day that we got our licenses or our first boyfriends. Our friendship came crashing down and I tried everything in my power to build it back up. As time went on, there came a day when I couldn’t rebuild our friendship. I faced the facts that I had been replaced and there was nothing more I could do to change it.

My best friend and I met in 1st grade. At that point we weren’t best friends, but I faintly remember the day we met. That day changed my life in so many ways. I met the person I was meant to experience everything with. We experienced the fun childhood days of going to the park and getting ice cream, but it was more than that. As our friendship grew stronger I knew this was the person I would be holding hands with as we walked out of high school, the person I would be holding onto so tightly as I cried before leaving for college, and the person that would be standing beside me on my wedding day. I was in elementary school at this time but I never lost faith that we would experience the greatest points in our lives together.

But as I said, there was a point in our friendship that I had been replaced and the images in my head of all the times we were meant to experience together became foggy. The images in my head weren’t of my best friend and I. They were of my best friend and her new best friend.

I had introduced the girl who had replaced me to my best friend, thinking all three of us could be friends. That worked for a little while, until things didn’t go as planned. Of course, every friendship has its fights and we experienced them a lot. But it was one fight during the 8th grade that started it all. After this fight, nothing was being resolved and the tension kept building. Our moms were best friends so they tried everything in their power to keep us together but as more fighting occurred, we were slowly falling apart.

Our eight year friendship had come to a head and in the end, my best friend chose the girl that she had known for two years at most.

I will never forget that day. I will never forget the tears streaming down my face as my best friend left the restaurant with her new best friend. I will never forget the days that came after that day; when I sat in my bed hysterically crying, or when I would see all of the social media posts of two people who were supposedly “best friends forever.” Two weeks after our friendship came to an abrupt end, I received a text from the girl who didn’t want to fix things. She wanted to talk, so I agreed. But this time, I was the one who ended things. I felt that if you had your best friend of eight years and a girl that you knew for two years standing in front of you, it was obvious who you would choose. My friend didn’t choose the obvious choice and that made me realize that maybe the way things unfolded were for the best.

Almost two years went by and I still hadn’t talked to my best friend. We started high school, another experience I thought we would share together, and I felt like I was looking at a complete stranger whenever we crossed paths. I still talked to her new best friend, mainly because we were in a lot of the same classes and played field hockey together. I was civil, even though I just wanted to scream and cry whenever we interacted.

It wasn’t until 10th grade when my best friend and I had to interact again. I remember walking into my 9th period class and seeing her there. My stomach turned. Again, I saw her as a complete stranger now, but as a complete stranger who knew everything about me and who I once told everything to. The class really bonded well together, and my best friend and I slowly started talking about homework and other casual things. It was sweet sixteen season and I knew my best friend was planning hers because she would talk about it in chemistry. Her new best friend was in class with us as well, and I knew she was helping her plan the event– another experience I thought we would go through together.

I came home from school one day, knowing my best friend had sent out invitations. I cried inside thinking about not getting an invitation to her sweet sixteen. This was something we had looked forward to since we were 8 years old and thinking about not being there killed me. Every day after the day I learned she sent out invitations, I would frantically search through the mail. As days went on and there was no invitation in my mailbox, I thought this was for the best. Maybe this was a way to tell me that the friendship we had was over, just leave it at that. But I did receive an invitation and while I was jumping for joy, I was shocked at the same time. I was surprised and happy to know that my best friend thought of me, but I was still unsure about going.

I responded yes to the invitation, because a part of me knew she wanted me there and I wouldn’t miss this day for the world. We danced and had fun and I went up to light one of her candles that she gave to me. At the end of the night, I was so glad that I responded yes because that was the night I saw my best friend again– not a stranger. Months went by and my best friend and I slowly became friendly again, and I saw the light at the end of a very long tunnel.

My best friend’s name is Amanda, and she gave me the idea to write this article. We are still best friends today and I feel that our time apart made our friendship stronger. Does it still hurt knowing that at one point in time she chose someone over else over me? Yes. Did experiencing this create a high wall for me? Yes. But did I ever lose hope that one day she would be standing next to me on my wedding day? No.

Of course, what happened still hurts when I think about it and this article wasn’t easy to write, but I knew our time apart was for the best and it shaped us into the people we are today. Even though we weren’t experiencing things together for two years of our lives, we still held hands as we left high school and still hugged each other so tightly as we left for college. Whenever I tell someone I have been friends with my best friend since 1st grade, they always respond with.. “Wow! You don’t see that a lot now a days..” and it is so true, and that is why I know we will be in each other’s lives forever.