I've never been one to not accept things that happen to me. I am a firm believer in whatever will be, will be. We honestly don't have control over others actions, but we would like to think we have a say in them.
When it comes to my friends, I have always treated them with love, compassion, and put effort into our relationships. I value friendship more than romantic relationships at this point in my life and I have no shame. They are what keep me going, shape me into the woman I am now and are persons I can count on for virtually anything.
Recently, I've had someone who I held close to me turn their back on me, and for me, that was something I don't understand. The lesson I've learned from this unfortunate situation is that, no matter how well I treat someone, no matter how much I've been there for them, and no matter how much love you feel towards them, they are completely capable of disregarding all of that and betraying you in the worse way.
This pill is hard to swallow. It is still something I don't comprehend all the way. I get so wrapped up in my thoughts that I wonder if it's something I did wrong or something I could have changed to have a different outcome. But then I realize again, I had no control over this. This is the part where I have to remind myself that sometimes people just suck.
You have to value what you have at the moment. Treat everyone in your life like it could be their last day because honestly, you have no idea when they might not be there anymore. And no I'm not talking death, I'm talking about when they decide to disregard your emotions and hurt you. There are still days where I want to call up this friend to tell her about my day, share something exciting, or tragic. I want to get drinks and talk about boys. I want to stay up way too late and watch our favorite movies. Because she was someone I care for, and that's what you do with people you care about right?
I am still coming to terms with losing someone even though I never thought that day would come. It goes to prove that, you have to choose wisely who and what you value, only put effort into people that put the same amount into you, and watch your back because you never know what's going on behind it... These things might make those pills not so hard to swallow.