Dear Ex-Best Friend,
I thought you were the one. The one that will always be here for me. The one that will be in my wedding. The one that will be “Auntie” to my children. The one that I’ll grow old and crazy with. But that will never happen. I say dear “ex-best friend” because, to me, you were one of my best friends. I always treated you as such, but I never felt the same from you. I kept it tucked deep, deep down and lived blindly to how I was being treated. I never gave a second thought to spending the night with you in your dorm when you needed me. Driving you to the doctor’s office because you didn’t want to go alone. Driving you to the grocery store and helping carrying all the heavy things you couldn’t lift yourself.
I stood up for you against those that talked bad about you. And you are the only person I’ve ever done that with. I stuck by you through every hardship imaginable for 9ish months never thinking twice about the sacrifices I made to support you.
I didn’t realize until after you ended our friendship that you never were a friend to me. Once I no longer went along with what you said or agreed with every decision you made, I was kicked to the curb. And that’s okay. I’ve realized how much of a stronger woman I am now that I no longer have you in my life. I still love you, and I don’t think that will ever change, but it’s okay that you didn’t genuinely love me. I forgive you. I forgive you for breaking my heart. I forgive you for causing me pain. I forgive you for making one of the biggest mistakes you will ever make. I’m not conceited or self-righteous or any other word like that, but I know that I am an amazing person that you had the privilege of knowing. Although, you never knew the real me. I am kind. I am smart. I am loving. I am self-sacrificing. I am a child of God. I am a strong, independent woman that doesn’t need to be validated by someone who didn’t love her, but only pretended instead. I am okay by myself. I have real love surrounding my daily, and I know you do, too.
I’m writing this to get this off my heart and to hopefully get closure for the two losses I’ve had. I hope you read this and know just how I feel. I was hurt and angry, but I tried my best not to be hurtful to you in anger. I know I said hurtful things, and I am sorry for that. I hope you forgive me for the words I called you/said to you. But I will not apologize for telling you how I feel and for truly loving you.
Ephesians 4:32 says it best, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” That is what I will do. The best “revenge” is to be happy and that is exactly what I’m doing. I no longer have the desire to tell you every little thing going on in my life. I no longer have the desire to want you and for that, I am grateful. God put you in my life for a reason, and he took you out for an even better reason. He has greater plans for me, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I hope you’re doing well, Child of God. God bless you and yours.
Sincerely,
Ex-Friend
