To the Friend Who Hurt Me Long Ago, I'm Finally Letting Go
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

To The 'Friend' Who Hurt Me Long Ago, I'm Finally Letting Go

After years of hurting, I'm finally learning to let go.

169
To The 'Friend' Who Hurt Me Long Ago, I'm Finally Letting Go

About 7 years ago, I walked into my ninth grade classroom expecting to sit next to my best friend. I had barely seen her over the summer, and I looked forward to that seating arrangement like it had been in eighth grade.

But when she came in, she walked past me like I wasn't there and chose seats with what I soon learned were her new friends. The girls she'd hung out with plenty over the summer while claiming to be "busy" or not home whenever I called.

It was like someone had popped this massive balloon inside my heart. All these years later and I still remember how that felt, and it still hurts from time to time.

I couldn't just move on. I had no other way of making friends, I was viewed as a weirdo and a loser at school, and I didn't really know how to make friends. Everyone was set in their cliques by then, and I was too late to the friend-making party by ninth grade.

For my last two years at that school, I was in one of the worst mental states I can remember. I was permanently in a depressed state; it felt like a gray cloud hung over my head all the time. Like I was wrapped up in a soft gray material that made everything around me seem fuzzy, separating me from the world around me. It didn't help when she and others would make fun of me, poking fun at my behaviors and if I got upset or annoyed by something. The memory of being made fun of by a former friend hurt more than the actual words.

It was like our friendship had never happened. All those good times and secrets shared together, just gone like they had never existed.

I felt like I'd never make friends ever again. After being treated in such a manner, it became hard to trust anyone I called a friend. Because who knew if or when they might suddenly decide they didn't want me as a friend, and do exactly what she had done?

I finally switched schools and got her out of my world. I was able to make new friends, who taught me how to trust again and showed me what good friends are supposed to be. I finally broke free of the depressive haze I was in and became a happier, fuller person.

But the memories of how you hurt me never left me. Seven years later, and they're still there. An emotional scar that I don't fully know how to confront.

I never found out why you stopped being friends with me. I never learned why you started treating me so negatively, why I went from being a friend to someone you could laugh at. Maybe learning those things would give me closure, but I don't know. Closure might not make up for the deeply embedded memory of being rejected by someone I was once so close with.

To me, the whole event had a massive impact on my life. It was a momentous thing that marks my life path. But to you, this was probably nothing. Who knows if you even remember any of it, especially how you treated me. To you, how you said the things you said probably didn't feel like you were making fun of me, but more like classmates jesting around. You probably didn't realize the greater impact of what you were saying.

I wish I could move on from this easily and just say "the past is in the past." But events like this, happenings that stand out in your memory and have that big a life impact, doesn't just become "the past." It becomes an emotional scar that stays forever, long after you've moved on.

One day I'll finally be able to think about all this and not still feel the hurt. On that day, you'll just be another of several emotional scars that I've finally moved past.

But for now, I'm still working. I'm still trying to face a hurt that I don't fully know how to accept, even all these years later. And this isn't totally on you; more recent bad experiences with friends hasn't exactly helped. But when I look back, what you did is where it all began.

I saw you a couple of months ago. We both looked very different from the last time we saw each other. I was working, and you were a customer.

You didn't recognize me. And honestly, I still can't decide if you not recognizing me and saying "hello" was a bad or good thing. There's certain pros and cons to both scenarios.

That moment brought back the old memories. It made me feel like I wasn't worth remembering. Like how you once treated me was something you either didn't even remember doing, or that you wanted to pretend had never happened.

Honestly, I don't need an apology. It might make me feel incrementally better, but at day's end, it happened long ago and an "I'm sorry" at this point would come off more like you trying to assuage any guilt.

So this is me letting go.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
beer on the beach

Summer is hot and humid, and it's almost like summer was made specifically to drink the refreshing, cold, crisp wonderful, delicious, nutritious nectar of the gods. Which is none other than beer; wonderful cold beer. With summer playing peek-a-boo around the corner while we finish up this semester, it's time to discuss the only important part of summer. And if you haven't already guessed, it's beer. There are few things I take more seriously than my beer, in order are: sports... and beer. Here are my favorite summer brews:

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

7 Reasons SoCal Rocks!

75 degrees and sunny, plus, no humidity. I mean do I really need to say more?

1273
woman in black and white long sleeve shirt carrying girl in red jacket in Venice beach
Photo by Jeff Hopper on Unsplash

SoCal summers are the best summers by far, and honestly, no argument is needed. But, if you aren't sure why SoCal summers are the best, here are 7 reasons why!

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

25 Lyrics for Selfie Captions

Because let's be honest, we all use lyrics.

53675
woman takes a selfie for social media
Pixabay

Sometimes you can't think of the perfect caption for your Instagram post. I love using lyrics as my captions because there's so many great lines in songs that just seem to fit in the moment. Here are some lyrics that could work for your selfie or pictures of you with your friends!

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Bruce Springsteen's Top 7 Lyrics

Everything Bruce says in his classic rock songs.

20140
bruce springsteen album cover born in the usa

Anyone who was born and raised in New Jersey (or anywhere really) knows of Bruce Springsteen, whether or not they like him is a whole other situation. I hope that his hundreds of classic rock songs and famous high energy performances, even in his sixties he can put on better concerts than people half his age, are at least recognizable to people of all ages. Love him or hate him (I identify with the former) you have to admit that some of his songs and interviews have inspirational quotes and lyrics.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

New England Summers Are The BEST Summers

Why you should spend your next summer in New England.

4431
Marconi Beach

Three years ago, I chose to attend college in Philadelphia, approximately 360 miles away from my small town in New Hampshire. I have learned many valuable lessons away from home, and have thoroughly enjoyed my time spent in Pennsylvania. One thing that my experience has taught me, however, is that it is absolutely impossible to beat a New England summer.

You cannot beat the beach. Believe it or not (which many people may not), New England has a long and beautiful coastline. Most of my high school summers were spent sitting on the Wall at Hampton Beach, getting sunburnt and eating Acai bowls from The Secret Spot. The Wall was the place to be both during the day and at night. We begin our days there with a KB's bagel and coffee, and end them with pizza and ice cream. It’s not a New England summer without that 4 p.m. text from someone, “Who wants to meet at the Wall tonight?” Nighttime is for Tripoli’s Pizza, the sound of waves, and wishes on shooting stars. Wednesday nights are especially important, as those are the nights that Hampton Beach sets off the weekly firework display.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments