We've all heard the stories, or been in the situation, where a friend seems to just cut you out of their lives. No reason, no notice, they just stop talking to you and it's almost like you never really existed in their eyes. Now I know this can be devastating if you are on the receiving end of this but I think we need to remember that sometimes, it's absolutely necessary for our peace of mind and mental and emotional wellbeing.

Personally, I have been on both sides of this situation but being the one who chooses to cut someone out of their lives is a lot more difficult. When I started college I made the mistake of making one small group of friends that I spent every moment outside of classes with. I didn't join any clubs and didn't make any attempt to meet another freshman around campus. At first, I had so much fun with these people. They were exactly like the person my freshman year self. We did the same things every day. When we weren't in class or at the dining hall we sat in one room, talking and watching tv. This forced us to become super close very fast. We divulged so much of our personal lives that it felt like no other bond we've ever had.

However, it wasn't very long until our friendships became strained. I realized that I always felt like I had done something wrong, I was always hiding something or not sharing something important when in reality I was just feeling miserable because I was supposed to be sharing information I didn't have or expressing emotions I wasn't feeling. They started excluding another friend and me from everything they did and made sure we knew about it. I realized if these people were making me feel so crappy they couldn't really be friends at all. They were the first people I decided I needed to leave behind.

For the rest of the semester my only friend, the only one left from the original group was the person I spent all of my time with. Soon they began treating me like I was a burden, a needy little child that was their responsibility. Our relationship became extremely strained and before I knew it we were fighting more than we were laughing. I was a huge problem in their eyes, I was holding them back from having a good time and they didn't care how they treated me. Finally, when summer came I decided I needed to leave them behind too or I would be miserable for the rest of my college career.

I don't want this to come off like I'm looking for sympathy, I really believe that you can still be a good person while being "that friend that randomly cut me out of their life". Unfortunately, the friends that you cut out will most likely always believe that no matter what the failed friendship will always be your fault and that they did nothing wrong but that's okay. It's going to suck but as long as you know what you did was the right choice for you. And while you lose these "friends" you take back your personal well-being and happiness. That's all you really need. Trust me, you will find better friends if you make an attempt to put yourself out there.