8 Eye-Opening Signs Your Friend Does Not Want To Be Your Friend Anymore

8 Eye-Opening Signs Your Friend Does Not Want To Be Your Friend Anymore

The 8 most common behaviors done by someone you used to be close with who does not want to be friends with you anymore.
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One of the most heartbreaking moments in our young lives is when we realize our best friend no longer wants to be our best friend.

It's not because we drift apart or that we get into a monumental fight over some lame guy we both like. It's rather a personal thing. To put it simply, they want nothing to do with us anymore. As sad as that is, it happens. It's part of growing up. The person who used to be your go-to when you wanted to go on adventures and talk to about everything under the sun is now signaling she wants nothing to do with you.

You're probably wondering why she is no longer interested in being your friend, and truth be told, you probably won't know. When brought up, she'll probably say something like, “Oh you know I'm just really busy and I have a lot to do." Ok, but you used to always make time for me and now I see you deliberately blowing me off to hang out with your other “cooler" friends, so you can't say you have “a lot to do."

I can take a hint.

If you are unsure about the fate of your friendship and whether she is giving you signals, take a look at these most common behaviors that indicate she's less than busy and not interested in being your friend anymore.

1. You're the only one making an effort.

This is by far the most important behavior in determining if she's still your friend.

Take a look at her behavior and then look at yours. Is she putting in as much effort as you are? Does she reciprocate when you are trying to rekindle the friendship? Do you buy her things, offer her things, and are always readily available for her but she doesn't do the same? If she's not, then there's probably a reason for that. It's a one-sided relationship, and one-sided relationships are extremely unhealthy.

This is when you need to put on the breaks and take a step back. She is clearly showing you that no matter what you do, you will be no more than a memory.

2. She ignores you.

Not only does she avoid making an effort; she also ignores you.

You'll see her walking down the hall and you'll give her a big hello and beaming smile like old times sake, but she'll just provide you with a fake-ass half smile and an almost invisible weak wave. In group settings, her behavior is even worse. You'll try to talk, but she'll ignore the statement and shift the conversation elsewhere.

At that point, it's not just hurtful, it's embarrassing.

3. She has time for others but not you.

In today's society, social media is everywhere. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter; social media surrounds us. The most moment-friendly social media app is Snapchat.

With it, we can see exactly what our friends are doing in that exact moment. Therefore, we can see when our friends are lying to us. We can see that your “friend" is watching the latest installment of the Divergent series with Jack and John, even though she told you she's studying for her exam.

Lying about it isn't even worth it anymore since I'm going to find out the truth through the media anyway. It's just immature.


4. She's always coming up with excuses.

Excuses excuses.

This is definitely one of the bigger tellers that she doesn't want to be friends with you anymore. When your friend is constantly telling you that she's busy and she doesn't make time for you, she doesn't want to be your friend.

Friends always make time for each other, and if she is always saying that she has a lot of homework, voluntary parties, and “stuff to do," then you should stop asking because you are just wasting your breath and energy on someone who clearly has better things to do than hang out with you. I had a friend once text me that she has “a whole list of things to do before going back to school" in response to my question, “Do you want to get lunch sometime at the end of the week?"

I asked her this on a Monday… You're so busy with this long list of super important things that are going to take an entire week to do, so there's no way you can cut 45 minutes out of one day to get food? Wow, I don't think she could've been anymore obvious. It was in that moment I realized she no longer wanted me as her friend.

It's especially obvious when they dump more than one reason onto you. Getting the old “I have to clean my room and go to the gym and eat dinner, but I don't know when I'm going" can be simplified to, “There is no way I'm hanging out with you, not tonight, not ever."

5. She always makes plans without asking you

Don't best friends always ask each other if they want to do something together over the weekend? Yes, but not if they don't want you as their friend anymore.

You used to be one of the first people she'd ask to hang out with but now you don't even cross her mind. You'll find out the next day that she and her pals went glow-in-the-dark mini golfing while you were coloring in your adult coloring books alone in your dorm.


6. She only talks to you when she needs something.

Oh, so you need help on that psychology homework? And those flyers for that charity event?

So you decide to call me, your bff? No. Why would I give my time to someone who shows absolutely no enthusiasm in my presence nor reciprocates when I do all I can to win back her friendship? I know we used to be friends, and I still want to be friends, but you can't just drop me and expect me to want to help you. I in no way want to since they're just coming to me knowing that I will give them what they want.

I mean, of course I will, because I'm a nice person who hopes that by giving them what they want, they will see that I'm a generous person and will want to be friends again. They'll act like my friend again for the time being, but once I'm done giving them what they want, they'll go back to ignoring you.


7. Conversations are kept short.

If conversations between you and your ex-best friend manage to get passed the most basic uninformative conversation known as “Hi how are you," then conversations will remain in the small-talk genre. The weather, school, and, if any, shared clubs will be the extent of your conversation. No longer do you talk about your summer vacation to the Cape or her beach house in Ipswich.

8. Things are awkward when you're together.

When you are together, you can't seem to figure out what to say to each other. There's a lot of awkward silences and you can't figure out what to talk about, or if you should talk for that matter. When you and the person you told your secrets to can't figure out if you should have a conversation, then you know that your friendship will never be the same.

If your friend is doing these behaviors, then I hate to break it to you, but she doesn't want to be friends anymore. When I lost my friend for reasons I still don't know back in November, I was devastated. I felt like a piece of me had been ripped off and buried in the mud.

I tried and tried to get her back, but nothing I did would change her mind. I missed her terribly, and I couldn't even figure out why she left me in the first place.

But she was ignoring me and lying to me and giving me countless excuses. It took me a while to figure out she did not want me as her friend anymore. I was hanging onto what our friendship used to be like and I thought it could come back. But it didn't, and it never will.

I ask myself, “Why would she do something like this?" Not just because it's extremely rude, but because she was my friend. It hurts even more when a person you cared a lot about kicks you to the curb. It sucks. I mean no one wants to lose someone who they were close with, especially in such a negative nonchalant manner, because it's more than just growing apart.

But I've been thinking, if she is treating me like this, was she really my friend in the first place? Because friends don't treat friends in these manners, even if they don't want to be friends; you'd have a conversation about it, not ignore them or act like they're not important.

So, no, by her standards, I was not a legitimate friend of her's. If she can't call me a friend, I shouldn't do the same. She has made it pretty clear by this point that she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore, and I have to understand that and move on.

If your friend gives you these signals, you must move on like I had to. I mean, they obviously have, and you need to do the same. I know it's hard. I know you'll want to keep trying to win them back, but you can't. You'll drive yourself crazy. Trying to rekindle a friendship with someone who is indirectly telling you she does not want you in her life anymore through her behaviors is only going to hurt you more.

Doing all you can for someone and not getting anything in return diminishes your self-esteem. It'll only make you feel worse about yourself, especially if at one point you both went of your way for each other.

What you need to do is take time to think about whether this person wants to be friends based off the signals they're giving you. And if you discover from reading this that they, in fact, don't want you to be your friend, stop trying to rekindle the friendship and find someone who will appreciate you, and will not suddenly leave without providing you a reason because chances are your friendship will not be restored.

They made themselves clear through their behavior. No one deserves to be ignored nor lied to. I know it will be difficult to get over them since you had so many positive memories together, but you need to forget about them and move on. Forgetting about them will benefit you in the long run.

Cover Image Credit: Greatest

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the beautiful barefoot boy

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I remember Matt from school. Every time I saw him, everyone around him was laughing. And I am not exaggerating. He was one of those special people who can literally make anyone and everyone laugh no matter the situation. He was one of those people that the world needs around to make life more bearable and just down right better.

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When someone dies, they leave their own legacy that is different from every single other person on the planet. Your legacy depends on the amount of light that you have shed on others. Looking through Facebook today, it is so obvious that his light touched so many people. Matt's death has reminded me of those that I have and will continue to lose throughout life... there is no better way to say it than death sucks. But even though death sucks, it reminds us to live our life to the fullest, and continue the legacy of those we've lost.

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Then I heard a voice from heaven say, "Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on." "Yes," says the Spirit, "they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them." Revelation 14:13

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To The Equestrian Judge That Tried To Break My Spirit

You may have won the battle, but you didn't win the war.

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There is a special thrill as a child being in the saddle for the first time. This animal delivered to me a whole new perspective of the world in all of its glory. I lived for the lessons these horses silently taught me — to be responsible, to cherish all life, to be brave in the face of adversity, and the list continues. Most of the valuable lessons I hold dear were taught by the horses I have had the honor of riding, leasing, and owning.

I wouldn't be the person I am today without these horses I adore so much, but I would be wrong if I didn't say that the coaches who taught me how to ride and the judges I have asked for advice didn't teach me valuable lessons as well. Believe it or not, even the judge who laughed in my face and insulted me showed me a crucial lesson as well. There will always be someone who doesn't like me no matter how hard I try to impress everyone.

I competed at a three-day long horse show during the summer when I was eighteen back in 2015, and I was excited because after three years of hard work Boomer and I were finally competitive to take on the big and burly quarter horses that reigned over the arena. Boomer is an Arabian horse, a relatively uncommon breed to show at this particular show and even more unusual to compete in the specific sport of Ranch Horse Pleasure.

Ranch Horse Pleasure is an equestrian sport that was made for every rider and horse. If your horse wasn't cut out for the thrilling sport of Reining and wasn't slow enough to be competitive in Western Pleasure, then Ranch Horse Pleasure was the perfect sport for avid riders. This fun and new sport was what Boomer and I planned to compete in as a stepping stone to reining, and given his almost lazy nature, he was pretty good at it.

Boomer waiting patiently for me at the gate. Photo Credit: Danielle Weeks

Although this particular horse show wasn't a top-level horse show, the competition was still very tough. Classes are often full of horses worth tens of thousands of dollars in bloodlines and training, but Boomer had proven his worth before even though I got him for free and did a large portion of his training on my own for years before this show.

The professional training Boomer did have, was earned by me through hours upon hours of saddling up horses, feeding horses, cleaning stalls, working horses, and doing other tasks around the barn for my trainers to earn training time and lessons. The work was difficult especially while I was working two different jobs, and going to junior college full time, but it was worth it seeing how well my trainers polished Boomer into an even better horse.

On the first day of competition, Boomer performed well, and the judge for the first day scored us well above my expectations. Afterward, I asked this judge for feedback, and she kindly complimented us while pointing out some criticisms she noticed to help us do better. I took note of this for the next day, and after I fed, watered, and cleaned up after twenty or so horses, Boomer and I practiced for the second day of showing and nailed our pattern. I knew we were going to do great, and I was thrilled to perform tomorrow!

But after our performance on the second day, we received a strange score. Boomer performed better than yesterday, but we received a lower rating. After my class, I took care of Boomer and the other horses and went to the office to look at my scorecard. I figured, if the judge saw anything I didn't feel, he would have written it down on the card.

When I arrived, I could see the judge putting the scorecards into the binder for the day, and I was happy I could catch him before he left for the night. When I walked up to him, I introduced myself and shook his hand, and he was very polite until I described the horse I was riding today.

The immediate change in attitude this man had was so noticeable it almost made me hesitate to continue, but I still asked, "Is there anything you saw today that I could improve on with my horse?"

Boomer and I at the three-day horse show. Taken on the second day. Photo Credit: David Weeks

Apparently, my question was funny for him, because he laughed at me as if I told him a joke, but not before telling me, "Yeah, get rid of that crazy Arab and buy yourself a real ranch horse."

My jaw dropped, and all I could do was watch him walk away from me with an astounded look on my face. Shock turned in to horror because I knew this man's dislike of my horse cost me the horse show. The thousands of hours and dollars I had spent to get to this point, was gone. None of my hard work had mattered because of this one judge who decided my horse and I didn't deserve to be here.

I dragged my feet back to the barn because it was beginning to get dark and the horses needed to be fed and watered for the night. I still wore a dumbfounded look all the way to my horse's stall, but I looked at Boomer and saw he was already watching me. When I looked at him, he let out a soft breath and walked up to the door and waited for me to pet him. I doubt he knew I was going to come into his stall and sob into his mane, but I did, because no matter how cruel people are at least Boomer's hair is thick enough to soak up my emotions.

The last day of the show went well and the judge was fair at. Unfortunately, with the averaged scores for the weekend, the second score I received by the terrible judge booted me out of the top five, and I lost out on earning a championship buckle and ribbon.

I thought long and hard about continuing to show Boomer in Ranch Riding and Reining, and I thought, maybe he was right. Perhaps I didn't belong in the sport. I saw the glares. I heard the comments that my friends and I overheard. I know the things people told my Mother, because, "[she] let her daughter ride an Arabian? Don't you know they're crazy?!" Making my Mother feel uncomfortable to be at this horse show as well.

Making my Mother uncomfortable, and the terrible judge affirmed to me that I would never return to the three-day show that gave me such a bad experience.

However, a year later I competed for the first time in Reining at a horse show series consisting of four horse shows over four months. At the end of it, Boomer and I earned a Championship and Reserve Championship buckle in our two classes. Boomer was the only Arabian to compete at the series. The year after that in 2017, we won three Reserve Championships in Ranch Horse Pleasure at a different show.

So, nice try to the judge who told me my horse and I didn't belong in this sport. I will continue to ride my 'crazy Arabian' in Reining and Ranch Riding shows and we will tear up the arena and clean up the ribbons and buckles because we have done it before and after we experienced your terrible judgment. I'll admit that you may have won the battle, but you didn't win the war. Boomer and I are not done yet, and your bad attitude isn't stopping us.

Boomer and I with our amazing Reining trainer Steven Allen after we earned our Reserve Champion buckle in Oroville California. My other amazing reining trainer, Chantel Allen took this photo that I still cherish.

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