8 Eye-Opening Signs Your Friend Does Not Want To Be Your Friend Anymore

8 Eye-Opening Signs Your Friend Does Not Want To Be Your Friend Anymore

The 8 most common behaviors done by someone you used to be close with who does not want to be friends with you anymore.
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One of the most heartbreaking moments in our young lives is when we realize our best friend no longer wants to be our best friend.

It's not because we drift apart or that we get into a monumental fight over some lame guy we both like. It's rather a personal thing. To put it simply, they want nothing to do with us anymore. As sad as that is, it happens. It's part of growing up. The person who used to be your go-to when you wanted to go on adventures and talk to about everything under the sun is now signaling she wants nothing to do with you.

You're probably wondering why she is no longer interested in being your friend, and truth be told, you probably won't know. When brought up, she'll probably say something like, “Oh you know I'm just really busy and I have a lot to do." Ok, but you used to always make time for me and now I see you deliberately blowing me off to hang out with your other “cooler" friends, so you can't say you have “a lot to do."

I can take a hint.

If you are unsure about the fate of your friendship and whether she is giving you signals, take a look at these most common behaviors that indicate she's less than busy and not interested in being your friend anymore.

1. You're the only one making an effort.

This is by far the most important behavior in determining if she's still your friend.

Take a look at her behavior and then look at yours. Is she putting in as much effort as you are? Does she reciprocate when you are trying to rekindle the friendship? Do you buy her things, offer her things, and are always readily available for her but she doesn't do the same? If she's not, then there's probably a reason for that. It's a one-sided relationship, and one-sided relationships are extremely unhealthy.

This is when you need to put on the breaks and take a step back. She is clearly showing you that no matter what you do, you will be no more than a memory.

2. She ignores you.

Not only does she avoid making an effort; she also ignores you.

You'll see her walking down the hall and you'll give her a big hello and beaming smile like old times sake, but she'll just provide you with a fake-ass half smile and an almost invisible weak wave. In group settings, her behavior is even worse. You'll try to talk, but she'll ignore the statement and shift the conversation elsewhere.

At that point, it's not just hurtful, it's embarrassing.

3. She has time for others but not you.

In today's society, social media is everywhere. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter; social media surrounds us. The most moment-friendly social media app is Snapchat.

With it, we can see exactly what our friends are doing in that exact moment. Therefore, we can see when our friends are lying to us. We can see that your “friend" is watching the latest installment of the Divergent series with Jack and John, even though she told you she's studying for her exam.

Lying about it isn't even worth it anymore since I'm going to find out the truth through the media anyway. It's just immature.


4. She's always coming up with excuses.

Excuses excuses.

This is definitely one of the bigger tellers that she doesn't want to be friends with you anymore. When your friend is constantly telling you that she's busy and she doesn't make time for you, she doesn't want to be your friend.

Friends always make time for each other, and if she is always saying that she has a lot of homework, voluntary parties, and “stuff to do," then you should stop asking because you are just wasting your breath and energy on someone who clearly has better things to do than hang out with you. I had a friend once text me that she has “a whole list of things to do before going back to school" in response to my question, “Do you want to get lunch sometime at the end of the week?"

I asked her this on a Monday… You're so busy with this long list of super important things that are going to take an entire week to do, so there's no way you can cut 45 minutes out of one day to get food? Wow, I don't think she could've been anymore obvious. It was in that moment I realized she no longer wanted me as her friend.

It's especially obvious when they dump more than one reason onto you. Getting the old “I have to clean my room and go to the gym and eat dinner, but I don't know when I'm going" can be simplified to, “There is no way I'm hanging out with you, not tonight, not ever."

5. She always makes plans without asking you

Don't best friends always ask each other if they want to do something together over the weekend? Yes, but not if they don't want you as their friend anymore.

You used to be one of the first people she'd ask to hang out with but now you don't even cross her mind. You'll find out the next day that she and her pals went glow-in-the-dark mini golfing while you were coloring in your adult coloring books alone in your dorm.


6. She only talks to you when she needs something.

Oh, so you need help on that psychology homework? And those flyers for that charity event?

So you decide to call me, your bff? No. Why would I give my time to someone who shows absolutely no enthusiasm in my presence nor reciprocates when I do all I can to win back her friendship? I know we used to be friends, and I still want to be friends, but you can't just drop me and expect me to want to help you. I in no way want to since they're just coming to me knowing that I will give them what they want.

I mean, of course I will, because I'm a nice person who hopes that by giving them what they want, they will see that I'm a generous person and will want to be friends again. They'll act like my friend again for the time being, but once I'm done giving them what they want, they'll go back to ignoring you.


7. Conversations are kept short.

If conversations between you and your ex-best friend manage to get passed the most basic uninformative conversation known as “Hi how are you," then conversations will remain in the small-talk genre. The weather, school, and, if any, shared clubs will be the extent of your conversation. No longer do you talk about your summer vacation to the Cape or her beach house in Ipswich.

8. Things are awkward when you're together.

When you are together, you can't seem to figure out what to say to each other. There's a lot of awkward silences and you can't figure out what to talk about, or if you should talk for that matter. When you and the person you told your secrets to can't figure out if you should have a conversation, then you know that your friendship will never be the same.

If your friend is doing these behaviors, then I hate to break it to you, but she doesn't want to be friends anymore. When I lost my friend for reasons I still don't know back in November, I was devastated. I felt like a piece of me had been ripped off and buried in the mud.

I tried and tried to get her back, but nothing I did would change her mind. I missed her terribly, and I couldn't even figure out why she left me in the first place.

But she was ignoring me and lying to me and giving me countless excuses. It took me a while to figure out she did not want me as her friend anymore. I was hanging onto what our friendship used to be like and I thought it could come back. But it didn't, and it never will.

I ask myself, “Why would she do something like this?" Not just because it's extremely rude, but because she was my friend. It hurts even more when a person you cared a lot about kicks you to the curb. It sucks. I mean no one wants to lose someone who they were close with, especially in such a negative nonchalant manner, because it's more than just growing apart.

But I've been thinking, if she is treating me like this, was she really my friend in the first place? Because friends don't treat friends in these manners, even if they don't want to be friends; you'd have a conversation about it, not ignore them or act like they're not important.

So, no, by her standards, I was not a legitimate friend of her's. If she can't call me a friend, I shouldn't do the same. She has made it pretty clear by this point that she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore, and I have to understand that and move on.

If your friend gives you these signals, you must move on like I had to. I mean, they obviously have, and you need to do the same. I know it's hard. I know you'll want to keep trying to win them back, but you can't. You'll drive yourself crazy. Trying to rekindle a friendship with someone who is indirectly telling you she does not want you in her life anymore through her behaviors is only going to hurt you more.

Doing all you can for someone and not getting anything in return diminishes your self-esteem. It'll only make you feel worse about yourself, especially if at one point you both went of your way for each other.

What you need to do is take time to think about whether this person wants to be friends based off the signals they're giving you. And if you discover from reading this that they, in fact, don't want you to be your friend, stop trying to rekindle the friendship and find someone who will appreciate you, and will not suddenly leave without providing you a reason because chances are your friendship will not be restored.

They made themselves clear through their behavior. No one deserves to be ignored nor lied to. I know it will be difficult to get over them since you had so many positive memories together, but you need to forget about them and move on. Forgetting about them will benefit you in the long run.

Cover Image Credit: Greatest

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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No UNC Residence Hall Is The Same, So I've Provided Pros And Cons For The Top 5 First-Year Halls

Did yours make the cut?

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Residence halls are a big (and sometimes dreaded) part of the first-year experience at UNC-Chapel Hill. Honestly, though, life in the residence halls is nothing to dread. It's not perfect, but it can definitely be fun.

Beyond the convenient proximity of other first-years in the different residence halls, your social life may also benefit from UNC Housing's many community events. You get a lot of community support, too—your RA, your suite-/hallmates, your community director, and hopefully your roommate.

What about the buildings themselves, though? They're definitely not all the same. The following is a definitive list of the best five residence halls for first-years on UNC's campus.

5. Craige

http://reslife.web.unc.edu/2015/06/01/the-view-from-craige/

Pros: This residence hall is suite-style, which means there are four double rooms (i.e. eight residents per suite) and one bathroom—arguably better than sharing a larger bathroom with 20 more residents in a hall-style dorm. More privacy, a better chance of bonding with those seven other students, etc.. If you're interested in UNC basketball (and you should be, honestly), you'll be happy to know this residence hall is right up the road from the Dean Smith Center. It's also nestled into a quaint little grove of trees, which is cute.

Cons: This residence hall is (somewhat affectionately) known as Crusty Craige, and not without reason (according to previous residents). While it is in a nice location, it's still a good trek from main campus—the hill from Craige up to Manning is killer on one side, and that's just the beginning of the walk. Since the residence hall is only six floors high (and is mostly surrounded by short trees), the view isn't as impressive as that of, say, Hinton James' balconies.

4. Lewis

https://conferences.unc.edu/lodging/residence-halls/lewis-residence-hall/

Coming in at number four, Lewis is the only residence hall on this list that isn't located on South Campus.

Pros: This building does have laundry facilities, unlike some of the other residence halls on North Campus. Also, it is a remarkable one-minute walk from the student union and Davis Library, meaning you aren't nearly as likely to get lost during your first week (at least, on your way to the Pit—class buildings are a whole other story). I cannot stress this enough: it is super convenient to live so close to main campus.

Cons: You miss out on the first-year experience of living on South Campus, where most first-years begin their UNC journey. Also, there are typically less than 100 other residents in Lewis, which limits the number of people with whom you can bond during your first year (when you'll likely be the most focused on building your college network). That also means less RAs and smaller hall events. Also, it's a hall-style residence hall (this is a debatable con, though, since some people would definitely prefer hall-style over suite-style).

3. Koury

https://unc.freshu.io/melissa-cordell-751/best-freshmen-dorm-to-live-in

Pros: Koury is pretty close to the SASB buildings, which are full of great resources for first-years (namely the Learning and Writing Centers, where you can receive free tutoring, academic coaching, and feedback on your essays). There are internal suites, which means that only three other residents will be sharing a bathroom with you. This means you can furnish the bathroom with whatever rugs or trash cans you prefer, and you have a lot more privacy than in other residence halls, as far as the bathroom goes.

Cons: Since the bathroom is between the two double bedrooms, you have to clean the bathroom yourself, as well as provide your own toilet paper—the flip side of enhanced privacy is that you don't get custodial services. Also, with the internal suites, sometimes it can be more difficult to socialize with other people on the hall (although your RA is there to solve that problem!). Lastly, if you walk out of your room and forget your key, you're locked out—the door locks automatically upon shutting.

2. Hinton James

https://www.dailytarheel.com/article/2017/07/hinton-james-leaves-a-legend-and-a-legacy-in-uncs-most-populated-dorm

Maybe I'm biased—Hojo was my own first-year res hall. I'm sure someone will fight me on this, but I really enjoyed living there.

Pros: There are tons of people, which means there's a good chance you'll find some friends near your room. It's a suite-style dorm, so obviously, the suite-style advantages of Craige apply here as well. Also, there is a package center located on the first floor, so you don't have to trek to some other residence hall to pick up your latest Amazon orders. There's a huge staff of really fun RAs, which means there's always someone around with whom you can talk about any problems or concerns you may have. The view from the balconies isn't bad, either.

Cons: I encountered a roach once. Also, again, there are a lot of people in Hojo, so sometimes it's kind of loud. Not ideal if you prefer studying (or sleeping) in total silence. Lastly—and perhaps most annoyingly—this is the furthest residence hall from main campus (and therefore your classes). It's about a fifteen-minute walk to the Pit...doable, but aggravating after a while. On the bright side, it's close to several bus stops.

1. The Winner: Ehringhaus

http://reslife.web.unc.edu/2015/06/23/the-view-from-ehringhaus/

This residence hall is right behind Koury, so a lot of the location-based advantages/disadvantages still apply.

Pros: There's a bus stop literally right out front, there aren't a ridiculous number of residents (so it isn't super loud or anything), and it's suite-style. As if that isn't enough, you only have to cross the road once outside the residence hall if you're walking to class (and trust me, crossing Manning/Skipper Bowles/Ridge is a whole experience). Additionally, this residence hall is one of the closest to Subway and Rams Market.

Cons: The pronunciation isn't always agreed upon by incoming students (but by all accounts I've heard, it's pronounced like "Air-ing-house," you're welcome). Also, it's kind of far from class buildings (like a 12-minute walk from the Pit).

Really, the cons aren't bad at all. This residence hall offers all of the community excitement of Hinton James but is slightly calmer and closer to main campus. That, coupled with the fulfillment of the crucial first-year experience of living on south campus, puts Ehringhaus at number one in my book.

I think the south campus residence halls are inherently better than the north campus ones just because the daily 15-minute trek to class is practically a rite of passage for UNC first-years. That said, all of the residence halls have their unique advantages and disadvantages, and you can have an awesome first year no matter where you live.

For more information on each residence hall, I'd recommend scouring https://housing.unc.edu/housing/residence-halls. Welcome to UNC, kiddos!

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