8 Eye-Opening Signs Your Friend Does Not Want To Be Your Friend Anymore

8 Eye-Opening Signs Your Friend Does Not Want To Be Your Friend Anymore

The 8 most common behaviors done by someone you used to be close with who does not want to be friends with you anymore.

One of the most heartbreaking moments in our young lives is when we realize our best friend no longer wants to be our best friend. It’s not because we drift apart or that we get into a monumental fight over some lame guy we both like. It’s rather a personal thing. To put it simply, they want nothing to do with us anymore. As sad as that is, it happens. It’s part of growing up. The person who used to be your go-to when you wanted to go on adventures and talk to about everything under the sun is now signaling she wants nothing to do with you. You’re probably wondering why she is no longer interested in being your friend, and truth be told, you probably won’t know. When brought up, she’ll probably say something like, “Oh you know I’m just really busy and I have a lot to do.” Ok, but you used to always make time for me and now I see you deliberately blowing me off to hang out with your other “cooler” friends, so you can’t say you have “a lot to do.” I can take a hint.

If you are unsure about the fate of your friendship and whether she is giving you signals, take a look at these most common behaviors that indicate she’s less than busy and not interested in being your friend anymore.

1. You’re the only one making an effort.

This is by far the most important behavior in determining if she’s still your friend. Take a look at her behavior and then look at yours. Is she putting in as much effort as you are? Does she reciprocate when you are trying to rekindle the friendship? Do you buy her things, offer her things, and are always readily available for her but she doesn’t do the same? If she’s not, then there’s probably a reason for that. It's a one-sided relationship, and one-sided relationships are extremely unhealthy. This is when you need to put on the breaks and take a step back. She is clearly showing you that no matter what you do, you will be no more than a memory.

2. She ignores you.

Not only does she avoid making an effort; she also ignores you. You’ll see her walking down the hall and you’ll give her a big hello and beaming smile like old times sake, but she’ll just provide you with a fake-ass half smile and an almost invisible weak wave. In group settings, her behavior is even worse. You’ll try to talk, but she’ll ignore the statement and shift the conversation elsewhere. At that point, it’s not just hurtful, it’s embarrassing.

3. She has time for others but not you.

In today’s society, social media is everywhere. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter; social media surrounds us. The most moment-friendly social media app is Snapchat. With it, we can see exactly what our friends are doing in that exact moment. Therefore, we can see when our friends are lying to us. We can see that your “friend” is watching the latest installment of the Divergent series with Jack and John, even though she told you she’s studying for her exam. Lying about it isn’t even worth it anymore since I’m going to find out the truth through the media anyway. It’s just immature.

4. She’s always coming up with excuses.

Excuses excuses. This is definitely one of the bigger tellers that she doesn’t want to be friends with you anymore. When your friend is constantly telling you that she’s busy and she doesn’t make time for you, she doesn’t want to be your friend. Friends always make time for each other, and if she is always saying that she has a lot of homework, voluntary parties, and “stuff to do,” then you should stop asking because you are just wasting your breath and energy on someone who clearly has better things to do than hangout with you. I had a friend once text me that she has “a whole list of things to do before going back to school” in response to my question, “Do you want to get lunch sometime at the end of the week?” I asked her this on a Monday… You’re so busy with this long list of super important things that’s going to take an entire week to do, so there's no way you can cut 45 minutes out of one day to get food? Wow I don't think she could've been anymore obvious. It was in that moment I realized she no longer wanted me as her friend.

It’s especially obvious when they dump more than one reason onto you. Getting the old “I have to clean my room and go to the gym and eat dinner, but I don’t know when I’m going” can be simplified to, “There is no way I’m hanging out with you, not tonight, not ever.”

5. She always makes plans without asking you

Don’t best friends always ask each other if they want to do something together over the weekend? Yes, but not if they don’t want you as their friend anymore. You used to be one of the first people she’d ask to hang out with but now you don’t even cross her mind. You’ll find out the next day that she and her pals went glow-in-the-dark mini golfing while you were coloring in your adult coloring books alone in your dorm.

6. She only talks to you when she needs something.

Oh, so you need help on that psychology homework? And those flyers for that charity event? So you decide to call me, you’re bff? No. Why would I give my time to someone who shows absolutely no enthusiasm in my presence nor reciprocates when I do all I can to to win back her friendship? I know we used to be friends, and I still want to be friends, but you can't just drop me and expect me to want to help you. I in no way want to since they’re just coming to me knowing that I will give them what they want. I mean, of course I will, because I’m a nice person who hopes that by giving them what they want, they will see that I’m a generous person and will want to be friends again. They'll act like my friend again for the time being, but once I'm done giving them what they want, they’ll go back to ignoring you.

7. Conversations are kept short.

If conversations between you and your ex-best friend manage to get passed the most basic uninformative conversation known as “Hi how are you,” then conversations will remain in the small-talk genre. The weather, school, and, if any, shared clubs will be the extent of your conversation. No longer do you talk about your summer vacation to the Cape or her beach house in Ipswich.

8. Things are awkward when you’re together.

When you are together, you can’t seem to figure out what to say to each other. There’s a lot of awkward silences and you can’t figure out what to talk about, or if you should talk for that matter. When you and the person you told your secrets to can’t figure out if you should have a conversation, then you know that your friendship will never be the same.

If your friend is doing these behaviors, then I hate to break it to you, but she doesn’t want to be friends anymore. When I lost my friend for reasons I still don’t know back in November, I was devastated. I felt like a piece of me had been ripped off and buried in the mud. I tried and tried to get her back, but nothing I did changed her mind. I missed her terribly, and I couldn’t even figure out why she left me in the first place. But she was ignoring me and lying to me and giving me countless excuses. It took me a while to figure out she did not want me as her friend anymore. I was hanging onto what our friendship used to be like and I thought it could come back. But it didn’t, and it never will. I ask myself, “Why would she do something like this?” Not just because it’s extremely rude, but because she was my friend. It hurts even more when a person you cared a lot about kicks you to the curb. It sucks. I mean no one wants to lose someone who they were close with, especially in such a negative nonchalant manner, because it’s more than just growing apart. But I’ve been thinking, if she is treating me like this, was she really my friend in the first place? Because friends don’t treat friends in these manners, even if they don’t want to be friends; you’d have a conversation about it, not ignore them or act like they’re not important. So, no, by her standards, I was not a legitimate friend of her’s. If she can't call me a friend, I shouldn't do the same. She has made it pretty clear by this point that she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore, and I have to understand that and move on.

If your friend gives you these signals, you must move on like I had to. I mean, they obviously have, and you need to do the same. I know it’s hard. I know you’ll want to keep trying to win them back, but you can’t. You’ll drive yourself crazy. Trying to rekindle a friendship with someone who is indirectly telling you she does not want you in her life anymore through her behaviors is only going to hurt you more. Doing all you can for someone and not getting anything in return diminishes your self esteem,; it'll only make you feel worse about yourself, especially if at one point you both went of your way for each other. What you need to do is take time to think about whether this person wants to be friends based off the signals they’re giving you. And if you discover from reading this that they in fact don’t want you to be your friend, stop trying to rekindle the friendship and find someone who will appreciate you, and will not suddenly leave without providing you a reason because chances are your friendship will not be restored. They made themselves clear through their behavior. No one deserves to be ignored nor lied to. I know it will be difficult to get over them since you had so many positive memories together, but you need to forget about them and move on. Forgetting about them will benefit you in the long run.

Cover Image Credit: Greatest

Popular Right Now

Why Having A Sister Is The Best Thing In The World

She's my built-in best friend.

I have considered myself one of the luckiest girls in the world to have been given the world’s best older sister to ever exist. We are a little over two years apart, yet, I feel as if the years between us don’t even amount to how close we are and how special and important she is to me. I know I don’t only speak for myself when I say that having a sister is the most amazing thing in the world. You are automatically given a life-long, built in best friend without even having to try. I, for one, know my sister is the only person who will always be there for me. She is my favorite person in the entire universe, she is my role model, she is the one person I will constantly look up to. All in all, she is my ultimate best friend.

Growing up, my sister and I dealt with the same minor arguments that all sisters face as they get older. Whenever my sister had her friends over, all I wanted was to hang out with them. Whenever my sister started a new sport, I immediately decided to try that sport as well. Half the time, the things I have tried in life are all due to the fact that my sister decided to try them first. All I ever wanted to do was be like her. And that’s exactly what I did. While it may seem like I didn’t really have a brain of my own or any real separation from my interests and my sister’s interests, as we both got older, we forged our own paths in very different ways.

As we both got a little bit older and a lot more mature, the pointless bickering came to an end and we actually got incredibly close. While I had always looked up to my sister from the start, this was different. We weren’t just sisters anymore, we were becoming best friends.

The day my sister left for college was one of the most emotional and heart wrenching days of my entire life. My best friend, my go-to, and my person was taken away from me and starting a new life in a completely new state. She would make new friends, and we would only have some small window of time to talk, over Facetime, of course, about our new lives away from each other. Honestly, I do not enjoy expressing my emotions and showing my weak spots to other people. When my sister left for college I don’t think I fully expressed to her the extent to how much I missed her. It took me a long time to be okay with the fact that she wasn’t right across the hall from me, that we didn’t share a bathroom anymore, that I could walk into her room and talk to her, and that we couldn’t steal each other’s clothes anymore. I thought that distance would strain our relationship in a really bad way. But, as it turned out, we got so much closer than we were before.

My sister is a brilliant, smart and intelligent person. She has the brightest future ahead of her. Whenever someone asks me about my sister, I am always so proud to speak about her and all of her accomplishments. When I visit her in college, we have the most amazing time together. I love getting to see a piece of her life that is outside of the one we share at home. And, as she is now getting ready to graduate from college, I only know the future she has ahead of her is going to be nothing short of successful.

Honestly, I guess not everyone is as lucky as I am to have the most amazing sister. She truly is my best friend in the entire world. She is the only person who knows how to make me feel better in my dark moments, and she is the one person who knows me better than I know myself. She is my rock, she is my person, she is my ultimate best friend, and I could not be luckier to have been given the greatest sister of all time. I am forever grateful.

Cover Image Credit: Franki Rosenthal

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

The Thank You I Never Got To Give My Aunt

And she is someone who deserved it a million times over.

I have had the pleasure of being raised in a family that provided a bountiful amount of female role models for me to admire. Like with everyone else, I sometimes did not realize everything those role models had done to help me until it was too late.

My parents are both the youngest amongst their siblings, which means their parents were sickly and elderly by the time I was really old enough to remember anything about them. My father lost his mother just after I was born, so I only ever knew one of my grandmother's.

What I didn't realize at the time was that my fathers' sister. Maryanne, affectionately referred to as Aunt Mairz, stepped up and held the family together. She was my aunt, but she was so much more than that. She pretty much became the "Nan In Training" for the family. She was the grandmother I never got to have.

She passed away the August before my senior year of high school from cancer.

If there is such thing as an angel on Earth, it would be this woman. She always put others before herself. As much as my parents demonstrated the same, something she did for my mom has always stuck with me. When my Aunt Mairz was extremely sick, my mom lost her father. I had lost another grandparent. Family and friends came to the viewing, as expected. What we did not expect was for Aunt Mairz to come, considering how sick she was at the time. But she did. I cannot imagine how exhausting that time was for her, but she did it anyway.

Because that's who she was.

When my family moved to the house we are in now, she (and many other family members) were here helping unpack boxes. She placed almost all of our dishes in the cabinets for the first time. Again, she didn't have to. But she did it anyway.

She taught me that even when you are in the worst situation you could ever have imagined yourself in, there is someone in the world going through more pain than you.

When she passed away, I was devastated. For me, it felt personal. The reason it felt personal is that a few months prior I held a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. It wasn't super successful, but it accomplished what I thought I wanted. I thought I wanted to just raise money and awareness. But in my young mind there was a direct correlation between my fundraiser and my aunt getting better. I was wrong.

I guess part of the reason I am writing this is for her grandchildren that will never have the chance to know her. They know what their parents and Grandfather say. I thought they would like to know from another source how amazing of a Nan they had. They're all too young to read this and fully understand how much she did for me. She helped me let go of a lot of anger and resentment that was blocking my faith. Words can never express how grateful I am for that.

Cover Image Credit: Erin Beatty

Related Content

Facebook Comments