Distance sucks. Let me guess, when you read that sentence you thought of a long distance relationship between two star crossed lovers battling to keep their love alive. That situation definitely sucks. But I’m talking about the distance relationship between two best friends.
In high school all your friends are most likely in driving distance because you all have to go to the same school or have something central in common. Because of this you’re used to seeing your best friend daily, or in my case weekly.
My best friend, Allie, went to a different high school than me. We always saw each other on the weekends and tried to hang out during the week. But, just because we didn’t see each other everyday didn’t mean we weren’t best friends. Summer always meant movie nights, sleepovers and carefully planned toilet paper attacks. We went to summer camp and taught English in the Czech Republic together and made the most of the time we had.
Not only did we have big memories but we shared the small stuff too. Stupid funny pictures we found on the Internet, boy problems, and countless inside jokes. You can ask anyone who has had the misfortune of being around us, we get twenty times louder and laugh hysterically over a shared look. And I’m not going to lie we’ve gotten in trouble countless times for being too loud or laughing at inappropriate times but whenever we’re together a single word can send us into a fit of laughter no one else understands.
Originally she planned to go to a school close to home, one close enough that we could visit each other on the weekends and still see each other in person. But, at the last second she decided to go to a school in Indiana. During that summer we both tried to put the thoughts of distance out of our heads and just enjoyed the summer with beach trips and ice cream runs and movie nights and tons of laughter.
But, no matter how hard we denied it the summer inevitably came to an end. The day before she left we went to In-n-Out because we wanted to get food she couldn’t get in Indiana. And thinking about that is when it really started to hit me. She was about to be in another state over a thousand miles away. That was one of the longest lunches I have ever had yet went by too quickly. Neither of use wanted to leave because that signified the end of the summer and our time together.
We made plans to talk every week and spoiler alert, it didn’t last. We both got involved in school and began to talk less and less. But, that doesn’t mean we’re no longer best friends. When we do talk the updates last for hours or we send each other huge paragraphs about everything that’s going on in our lives.
We write each other letters with updates, telling how much we miss the other. And when I read her letters I swear I can hear her voice in my head as if she was right next to me cracking a lame joke that somehow always makes me laugh.
We recently sent each other packages filled with little things that reminded us of each other. When I opened mine she wrote notes on each of the items explaining why she picked each one and I realized that even though we don’t spend time with each other we still spend time on each other. Picking out gifts, writing letters, or talking for hours. We may not spend a lot of time together but the time we do spend together is meaningful. We don’t have to deal with the obligatory “How are you doing?” “Good and you?” we go straight to the topics that matter and it’s refreshing to cut the compulsory politeness sometimes. No question is off limits.
Sometimes in life you find someone you are just connected to. Who you feel totally comfortable with and you never feel like you have to try or prove anything. Who laughs at all your jokes and knows what you’re thinking without any questions asked. Who just gets you. And that can be a significant other, but for me it’s Allie.
This past summer when we hung out together for the first time in months it wasn’t awkward at all. It was like we never left and I think that’s the point of a relationship. Finding someone you can pick up from right where you left off. Finding someone you don’t have to talk to everyday but someone you want to talk to everyday. Finding someone who doesn’t need to be in your life everyday to be a part of your life.
