I though chivalrous men no longer existed. Men who would pick up the tab on a first date and hold my hand while driving were just a figment of my imagination. After a series of bad dates that ended with nothing but a group text to the girls about “can you believe he did this?’, I started to believe that good men were no longer out there. I had come to the conclusion that chivalry was dead.
Over the years, dating has evolved and I would like to start off by saying that I recognize this. As a young woman of today I understand that dating is no longer defined by “courting”. I respect the fact that our dating standards have changed, what I do not respect is why we’ve let them change so much.
As women, we should value ourselves higher than one night stands and hook ups. There should be more to us than provocative dressing and promiscuous texts to get a guy to go out with us.
I think as millennial we have been taught that it’s okay for the girl to pay for the first date and drive everywhere. That maybe it shouldn’t bother us if he just beeps his horn outside our house. Society has set new dating expectations. And Suddenly you’re the prude being talked about by all the guys around campus if you don’t comply with these new “standards”.
We’re being taught a new definition of what a “prince charming” actually is. The little girls of the world are watching us take romance and love and toss it away and put a sad broken hearted love story in its place.
Even I have fallen victim to this. I thought it was fine if I paid for everything, if we always drove my car and I was always the one to pay for gas. I grew to expect these things. My expectations for romance and dating quickly slipped until I found myself never expecting anything more. I genuinely thought that all the chivalrous men had disappeared.
Until the day I found a man that would walk on the outside of the sidewalk. That’s when I began to ask myself, what the hell am I doing?
So many women preach feminism and being strong and independent. If we are truly so strong and independent why are we letting guys treat us like nothing and lower the standards we’ve worked for so long to create. We need to end this now.
The chivalrous men are still out there. You’ll find them holding the door open for you and then the people behind you. In the moments where they hold your hand as they’re driving and when they stop to open your car door. I realized it when he’d walk me to my car after class and when we would talk and a week later he remembered what I had told him.
You should never settle for less than a man that shakes your parent’s hands and says thank you for dinner. There should never be a moment where you’re asking yourself why was it okay for him to do that?
In reality, prince charming doesn’t exist; but the hope is to find a guy that makes you believe he does. It’s time to stop taking less than we deserve. No, I’m not saying every chivalrous man you come across will be your prince but you should never settle for less than a man that makes you feel like he could be. It’s time to say no to the new dating standards. It’s time to realize that we are so much more than bad boys and running out the door when he beeps his horn in your driveway.
It’s time to realize chivalry isn’t dead, you just have to find it.
