There are many quotes out there about success and failure. One I distinctly remember is “fall 7 times, get up 8.” But what if you’ve fallen a hundred times? The same concept always applies, but what if no one thinks you can do it anymore? “It” could be anything from losing weight, to writing a novel, to graduating. But if you give up on yourself, what else are you going to do? Live in defeat and shame forever? Sometimes we have to count our losses, but there are many things we know we need to succeed in to ever feel happy or fulfilled. These things should never be given up on, no matter how long it takes, no matter how stagnant you get.
I thought to write about this topic because recently I was told “I would say you’ve reached a breakthrough, but you’ve said these same things a hundred times with no change.” If you always say you’re going to do something and never do, or feel like you can’t, people will stop believing in you. But if you want to achieve your goals, you’ll have to do it eventually. If you lose your support, all you can do is prove that person wrong. And, I’m sure, once they see that you’ve started trying again, once they see that you’re actually beginning to see results they’ll be right there to support you.
In this life we are always being faced with adversity and challenge. Some people deal with it better than others. Personally, I have a hard time facing challenges and adversity. But each day is a new challenge that we can either face and grow as people or stay stagnant indefinitely. I’ve even been guilty of giving up on someone when they just needed more time- I had a family member that was an alcoholic and a drug addict, and they didn’t become clean until almost 4 years after their first time in rehab. They’re 6 months clean today. If we give up on our dreams, we’ll never be happy. It’s better to fail a hundred times than to know you gave up on yourself, to die wondering what if I’d tried just one more time, and that time I did it.
The worst part is, sometimes we can’t explain why we feel like we can’t do the thing. We’re too tired, too busy. We know we could, but we just don’t have the energy or motivation, especially if you have depression or anxiety like I do. Getting started is the most important thing. Seek help. Find someone who inspires you- maybe someone you know lost over 100 pounds, talk to them. If they lost 100 you can for sure lose 25. Talk to another person you know who took 5 or 6 or 7 years to finish school and see how they got through it without giving up.
I know they’re cheesy, but it always makes me feel good when I see posts about famous people who didn’t get started until they were older. Sometimes it takes years, decades even, to accomplish goals. Many people didn’t know in their wildest dreams they’d accomplish anything significant when they were 18-22 years old. JK Rowling was 32 when Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s stone was released. Walt Disney was fired from being a newspaper editor because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” Stan Lee, the creator of the Marvel universe, published his first comic, The Fantastic Four, just shy of his 39th birthday.
Be patient with yourself. Things may seem like nothing is changing because change happens so slowly. Celebrate even the smallest victories. 1 pound of fat lost is 3,500 calories burned. Some novelists take 20 years to get a book published. Learning 3 chords makes you three steps closer to being a fantastic guitar player. Always be trying, always believe you can succeed, and your time will come.
