It's hard to know what to say to someone hurting. Everyone deals with heartache in their own way, and although I can try my hardest, I'll never truly understand exactly what you are feeling in this moment.
The way that I deal with things is by writing about them. Whether it's directly or indirectly, I take everything that I have and pour it on the paper. I've never been good with verbal words, and this is not any different.
First and foremost, I need you to know that whatever his/her reasoning was for leaving, it doesn't take away your excellence. You are one of the greatest human beings that this life has ever made. You are beautiful. You are perfection in your own unique sense. The fact that one person didn't (or couldn't) see that means nothing. It doesn't dilute you.
It means you weren't meant for him/her. That is OK! I hate broccoli. It's something I don't think I will ever like. It doesn't matter if you put cheese on it, steam, boil it, or make it look like bacon – I hate broccoli. The fact that broccoli isn't for me doesn't take away from the fact that millions of other people love it.
Secondly, take everything that anyone told you about him/her, and throw it away. Your friends are there to tell you the truth. Past telling you the truth, their job is to support you. It is my job to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.
Once you I have said my piece, you are going to do whatever you want. Chances are, whatever I am telling you, you already knew. You just needed to hear it from someone else's mouth. It's not my job to tell you, "I told you so," if and when things end badly. It is my job to help pick you up.
You are already beating yourself up enough, I know. It's human nature. So, disregard anything that people say against you.
Thirdly, you are strong. I understand that right now, it feels like a bit of the end of the world. Maybe you don't know where to go from here. Well, the answer is: up. That's where you go.
When someone lets you go, they aren't clipping your wings, they are freeing them. Now is your time to fly.
Take this opportunity to lift yourself up. Remember how you felt the last time you had no one to answer to, no one to worry about and no one to make you feel less than. Remember a time when you were good enough for yourself; When all you needed was to look in the mirror, and you saw a strong person staring back at you.
You don't need anyone to validate you strength – but if you feel weary, turn to me. I will remind you just how incredible you are.
Finally, don't be afraid. I know, trust me, I know. Starting over, feeling alone or even just letting go is terrifying. There is no substitute for that emotion. It hurts. It's like you've been falling for a while, and right as they're supposed to catch you, you hit the ground – hard.
It hurts. I am not going to pretend like the pain you are feeling isn't real. I'm not here to tell you that you can't cry or be broken. Feel everything. Take it in, let it out. Learn from this.
Eventually try to forgive, but never ever forget. Don't be afraid to do it, though. Don't be afraid to start over or be alone. Falling in love with yourself again is more rewarding than anything else.
Someone hurt you. There is no taking away from that. If you think that there is a way to get past this someday, then find a way. If you don't, then move on.
I think that second chances are sometimes a blessing in disguise. If you want to try again with this person, I support you. You know your heart, and you can't worry about the opinion of others. If they love you, they will let you make your own choices. They will make it known how they feel, and then the reigns are yours.
Don't surround yourself with people who get mad at you for your life choices. It is your life. Everyone else is simply a guest.
Make sure they know you are running the show, and don't ever let people make you feel inferior for your choices in life. That goes for friends, family, significant others, and anyone else who chooses to enter your life.
