The Floridian Plague
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

The Floridian Plague

An Allergy Affecting the Entire State

The Floridian Plague

Florida is known to many people for its various and diverse set of roles: the nation’s vacation destination, the birth place of Gatorade, Spring Break land, the epitome of regionalism, and, of course, the driving.

Now, recently, the atrocious Florida driving has been explained! While under study for separate defects, an evaluation of cars in Florida revealed a newly discovered chemical coating the indicator lever, called incredibiliter mollis. It seems that, for whatever reason, the people of Florida react very heavily with this chemical, and not in a good way. Just a whiff of this chemical is enough to render their ability to use a turn signal completely non-functional.

As serious as this allergy is, perhaps it is more serious that, as of now, a cure has not been found. We must be thankful then that Floridians are so proactive and determined to make a change. If you just look around while driving, you’ll see that just about every Floridian is researching diligently on their phone, so much so that they even research while driving! What true heroes!

While having no immediate cure definitely sounds dark and treacherous, it is helpful to know that, just with the discovery of this chemical, solutions can already begin to be formed. Many skeptics have argued to put down the phones and to leave It to the professionals, but they clearly do not understand what enormous harm could be done if that phone screen is not being utilized 100% of the time.

Beyond simply dismantling the mobility of the left hand, incredibiliter mollis leaves drivers unable to follow a straight path down a lane. The scope of his allergy is monumental and dangerous, which is why I beseech you, every single reader, to pitch in to the fight. Research incredibiliter mollis, try to find some way to be immune to its affects, and please, help Florida be a safer state for pedestrians and anyone on the road.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Content Inspiration

Top Response Articles of This Week

Kick off spring with these top reads from our creators!

Hand writing in a notepad

Welcome to a new week at Odyssey! The warmer weather has our creators feeling inspired, and they're here with some inspiration to get your Monday going. Here are the top three articles of last week:

Keep Reading... Show less

No Sex And Upstate New York

A modern-day reincarnation of Carrie Bradshaw's classic column


Around the age of 12, when I was deciding whether or not to be gay, Satan appeared on my left shoulder. “Ramsssey,” he said with that telltale lisp. “Come over to our side. We have crazy partiessss.” He made a strong case, bouncing up and down on my shoulder with six-pack abs and form-fitting Calvin Kleins. An angel popped up on the other shoulder and was going to warn me about something, but Satan interrupted- “Shut up, you crusty-ass bitch!’ The angel was pretty crusty. She disappeared, and from that moment forward I was gay.

Keep Reading... Show less

To The Classes That Follow

I want you to want to make the most of the years that are prior to Senior year

To The Classes That Follow
Senior Year Is Here And I Am So Not Ready For It

I was you not that long ago. I was once an eager freshman, a searching sophomore, and a know-it-all junior. Now? Now I am a risk taker. Not the type that gets you in trouble with your parents, but the type that changes your future. Senior year is exciting. A lot of awesome things come along with being the top-dog of the school, but you, right now, are building the foundation for the next 4 years that you will spend in high school. I know you've heard it all. "Get involved", "You'll regret not going to prom", "You're going to miss this". As redundant as these seem, they're true. Although I am just at the beginning of my senior year, I am realizing how many lasts I am encountering.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Power Of Prayer Saved My Best Friend's Life

At the end of the day, there is something out there bigger than all of us, and to me, that is the power of prayer.

Julie Derrer

Imagine this:

Keep Reading... Show less

Why Driving Drives Me Crazy

the highways are home


With Halloween quickly approaching, I have been talking to coworkers about what scares us. There are always the obvious things like clowns, spiders, heights, etc. But me? There are a number things I don't like: trusting strangers, being yelled at, being in life or death situations, parallel parking. All of these are included when you get behind the wheel of a car.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments