Leaving my Florida home to go to school out-of-state has been a bit of a struggle. None of my friends at school are from Florida and, sometimes, they say some very strange or annoying things to me.
Here are 11 things you should never say to a Floridian:
1. "Have you seen the snow?"
Okay, this one is not too bad. It hardly ever snows in Florida. But it's not like I have never left the state or traveled or lived elsewhere.
2. "Publix subs are overrated."
If you come and visit me in Florida, and then insult the holiest grocery store subs in the world, we may not be friends anymore.
3. "Are there alligators in your backyard?"
YES! Every person I know, keeps their pet alligator in their bathtub!
4. "The weather is so nice! It's always hot there!"
Trust me, it quickly becomes overrated once you suffer from a near third degree burn when you accidentally touch the metal part of your seat belt.
5. "It's always sunny!"
No, no, no. It is guaranteed to rain for 30 minutes everyday. And did you forget about all of the hurricanes?
6. "Florida is full of old people, right?"
Yes, and we are all eligible for our AARP memberships.
7. "So are you from Miami or Orlando?"
Neither. You must have forgotten about Jacksonville, Tampa, Boca, the Keys, Tallahassee, Gainesville, Ft. Lauderdale, and St. Petersburg.
8. "Do you go to Disney like everyday?"
No, I tend to enjoy avoiding tourists.
9. "Is that close to Miami?"
No? I live in Jacksonville. You know? ...Like the opposite side part of the state?
10. "I think my parents are going to retire in Florida."
Good for them. They can join all of the other old people who already live there.
11. "Floridians are the worst drivers in the world."
I can't really defend this one. If you’re not used to fast speeds and a lack of turn signals, Florida may not be the place for you. The roads are a little treacherous. The living is easy but driving is not.
