You all know the saying, “people come in all shapes and sizes.” You’ve got tall people, short people, fat people, thin people, nice people, sweet people, mean people, sad people and a class all their own—sassy people.
If you’re lucky enough to run across one of these rare “sassy” people, you won’t soon forget it. They bowl into your life like a wrecking ball, blowing up everything in their wake. Nothing is mundane or boring when you’ve got a sassy by your side.
There’s nothing like an honest-to-goodness, good ole’ sassy person. How do I know? Well, that’s because I am one. I’m as sassy as the day is long. As sassy the sky is blue. As sassy as the ocean is wide. I’m sassy to the core and have been since day one. I came into the world as a ball of sassy (and I plan on eventually going out the same way).
If I had to describe myself in one world: sassy (duh). And as a true sassy, I understand all the things that only fellow sassies would understand. Here’s a list of five truths that only truly sassy people will understand.
1. You don’t need an excuse to be sassy.
If I had a dollar for every time I was in a sassy mood—let’s just say I could retire before the age of 30. Sometimes, the sassiness just hits (I usually refer to it as ‘wearing my sassy pants’). There’s been so many days that I’ve been driving home from an uneventful, fine day at work, and I just get in a terrible, no-good, rotten mood. Nothing has happened. I’m just in a mood, and the sass is firing on all cylinders. On those days, the best think you can do is not talk to me, not look at me—just forget that I’m even there.
My boyfriend is always asking “What’s wrong?!” I usually snarl back “Nothing!” And really—nothing is. I’m just wearing my sassy pants. Is that so bad?!
2. You always have a sassy opinion
You may be thinking “This chick is a piece
of work!” But I do actually try to keep my sass under control (you’re welcome).
However, if tempted with the opportunity, I’ll gladly lift the flood gates and
let my waters of sass flow.
One word: reviews. Man, I LOVE reviews.
They’re the golden opportunity to let the sass out. Reviews are the perfect opportunity to give your honest opinions. Problem is, my opinion is sassy. I had one professor who called us all kiddos. Can you believe that?! I hated it. It got under my skin all season. But I was a well behaved student. Did my work, was polite to my professor. But then the end-of-the-year evaluations came around. And I just lost it. I ranted and raved for paragraphs about how condescending the professor was. I couldn’t help it. Blame it on the sass, right?
3. Sassy don’t play
I like to think I’m a generally kind person. I love animals. I love my (most) of my family and friends. I donate to charity and frequently volunteer. But mess with me, and you’ll meet the sass devil--no doubt.
I had a bad experience at a doctor office (okay, doctor offices). So I found their Facebook pages and left some not-so-sweet reviews. (I’m slowly narrowing down the number of doctor offices in town I can actually show my face in). I’m a firm believer that there’s always something you can do. So if I have a bad experience, I want that company held responsible, and want others to know. Give me bad customer service, will you! That’s fine—one bad review, coming right up.
4. Sometimes you have to be sassy for others
I feel like most families have that one person who has to play the bad guy—the person who has to demand for a manager at a restaurant, the person who has to tell off the snarky teacher. That’s me. I am undoubtedly the sassy pants wearer in my family. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told my mom to call the school principal and file a complaint for my younger siblings (y’all teachers are all lucky I’m not a mom yet).
Whenever we have difficulty with our Internet provider, my boyfriend just hands me the phone. Charged too much at a retail store? Send me back in. Some people are uncomfortable with confrontation, uncomfortable getting a little attitude. That’s where us sassies have to step in and take care of all those less-sassy.
5. It’s not always fun being sassy
Sassy isn’t all fun and games. It takes a lot of energy to be sassy. Sassy pants are the easiest to wear. After complaining to a customer service manager the other day, I came home and passed out. I was exhausted from all the sass I exerted. I don’t like having to tab into my sass, but sometimes it’s necessary, and I ain’t afraid of a little sass!
