I have had enough experiences with guys, romantic and platonic, that I could probably write a bestselling novel. I have learned a lot of lessons over the years, lessons that have helped me grow as a person, but the most important I’ve learned is how to spot the difference between a boy and a man. Now that I’m 22-years-old, I don’t have time to play games or deal with immaturity—I want someone I can see myself with for a long time. If you have the same mentality as me, these tips will help you decipher between Mr. Right and Mr. Never Gonna Happen.
1) A man knows what he wants; a boy plays the field.
This one is the biggest indicator of whether or not the guy you’re interested in is a man or, for lack of a better word, a player. If he isn’t making a solid commitment to you and beats around the bush when the topic comes up, he just isn’t that into you. Trust me—you don’t want to be with the guy who doesn’t want a relationship. It may be okay at first because he convinces himself it’s what he wants, but somewhere down the line he’ll start to stray away because he wasn’t really in it to begin with.
2) A man talks to you at any point in the day; a boy only hits you up at night.
If he is only calling you when it’s ‘half past five,’ that guy only wants one thing from you, and you better hit ignore on that phone call if you’re looking for more than that. The worst thing you can do is settle for less than what you want/deserve because, in his mind, he thinks that you’re fine with just hooking up. Meanwhile, you’re planning your wedding to him on Pinterest and picking out children’s names and he has no idea.
3) A man will face his problems head on; a boy will run away.
If there’s a problem in your relationship, you need someone who is going to be willing to talk it out with you and work through it, not run away the moment things get real. The worst thing in a relationship is not being able to communicate with one another, and I have been with too many guys who just shrugged away our issues because they couldn’t be bothered with them. That’s childish, and there’s no room for it in an adult relationship.
4) A man takes responsibility for his actions; a boy will make excuses or play the blame game.
This one drives me insane. If you do something wrong, you need to own up to it. If your response to you being wrong is to make excuses, deny it or blame me, then I’m not speaking to you. You can’t be right all the time, and neither can I. But if I can take a step back, realize I’m in the wrong and apologize, so can you.
5) A boy will treat you like an option; a man will always put you first.
I leave you with this, which has recently become the behavior I notice first in any guy I consider dating. If he is treating you like you can easily be replaced, ditch him. The man you’re supposed to be with will not only put you first, but he will make you feel the luckiest, and only, girl in the world. You won’t ever have to wonder if he thinks he could do better because he will remind you that you are what he wants. That is the way it should be, and that’s what you should hold out for.
