When love begins, most people are too wrapped up in their newfound happiness to think about the possibility of that happiness ending. People fall deeply in love with others who may or may not stick around, making them vulnerable to getting hurt. Depending on a person’s happiness and self-worth before that love began, it can be extremely difficult to recover from the pain of a failed relationship. Love is not meant to be used as an escape from the realities of one’s life, nor is it to be used as a determinant of worth and happiness. If people rely on someone else entirely to make them feel happy and content, their world can so easily come crashing down. It is important to allow yourself to be vulnerable and be open to the possibility of love. However, you cannot depend on that love to make your life feel meaningful.
Too often, people get into relationships without first working on their relationship with themselves. If you are unhappy with yourself and with your life, the love of someone else will not necessarily fix those problems. Even if love fixes your problems, love is often temporary and conditional. The only way to truly be happy loving someone else is to love yourself first. If you cannot love yourself and be happy on your own, you will never be truly happy with someone else. You will spend your entire relationship, and possibly your entire life, feeling as though your value is predicated on the fact that someone else saw you as worthy of their love and attention. The unfortunate truth is that many people will fall out of love and stop putting forth effort into relationships. If you place your entire self-worth into the hands of someone else and that person bails on you, you will be left with nothing. If you know your value and worth, you will have a much easier time moving on because you are still content with yourself and your life.
A great love may seem to fix a bad life, but only for a short time. A great love can make you forget all your troubles and forget the parts of yourself that you dislike. However, if that love doesn’t last forever, you will eventually have to face reality. You’ll have to face your problems and you’ll be reminded of the person you are that you were once trying to forget. Additionally, the emotional pain you’ll face will only make your life seem more taxing. Not only will you be taken away from the fantasyland of love you’ve grown accustomed to, you will also be faced with the harsh reality that you are unhappy with yourself and your life.
None of these scenarios are pleasant; nobody wants to feel like they’re left with nothing. Nobody wants to be unhappy or trapped in a miserable life, and nobody wants to look at themselves and be displeased. It is so important to assure your own happiness and self-worth before you depend on someone else to make you happy. If you don’t love yourself and your life, you shouldn’t rely on another person to make you do so. You should learn to find your own happiness and satisfaction before adding anyone else to the mix, and you should never allow someone else to control your happiness. Doing so will only lead to feelings of disappointment and letdown. If you aren’t happy with yourself but are happy with someone else, your happiness is conditional and never guaranteed. The only way to assure constant happiness is to be happy with who you are and the life you already have. This way, any love you may find will be additional happiness rather than your only shot at satisfaction. Dissatisfaction cannot be masked by love; any negative feelings you have towards yourself will remain when that love ends. No amount of love from another person can be more important than the love you have for yourself. Ensure your own happiness and worth before letting the vulnerability of loving another person open you to the possibility of getting hurt. If you can’t love yourself, no amount of love from another person will be enough, whether or not that person’s love for you prevails.
