An Open Letter To My First Love

Hey there,

So it's been awhile since we've talked or even seen each other. We spent a year and 2 months together, and I broke your heart, but you broke mine first. I fell in love with you, and I fell fast and hard.

However, my 14 year old self was naive. Our relationship was probably what one would expect for a freshmen relationship. I was the freshmen girl who thought we were forever and you were the sophomore boy who didn't care about anything, me included in that. We hung out every weekend once you turned 16, but we never talked much, I mean actually talk.

Eventually, us not talking took a toll on me and I doubted my worth, I doubted if you loved or even cared about me. I got stitches due to an injury and you didn't care. But thank you for not caring! Because of you not caring, someone picked up the pieces of my broken heart. I knew you were jealous of him, but you never said anything so I assumed it was fine, you should have said something.

I told you I was going to go on a retreat for a weekend and I couldn't talk, of course, he was there. It would have been different if you left me a voicemail when I got back, but you left me nothing. This was it for me, I broke up with you, you begged me not too, and I almost caved. However, I made a promise to my best friend that when I saw them on that Saturday I'd be single, so I followed through. I knew I broke your heart, but because of him, I knew my worth.

Three weeks later after the break up, I started dating the guy you were jealous of, and I'm still with him.

I saw the photos of you graduating high school on Facebook, and I thought how excited you must have been, then my mind went to the girl you were dating at that time, I was happy for you. However, your third girlfriend didn't last to college.

You and your current girlfriend seem stable, based off of your snapchat stories. But I also know you are now someone I would not get along with anymore. I've changed a lot from when I was a freshman in high school to being a senior.

Though, I will find out just what type of person you are now this next school year, since the college we will both be attending is kinda small. I don't think I will like him, because he's not the guy I once fell in love with. People change, memories don't.

When I think about my past with you, I don't regret dating you nor breaking up with you. I may regret some decisions I made while dating you, but it made me the person I am today. Because, Alex, without you, I would have never been able learn the lessons I did. I would never had a true testimony to tell, I would have never had the amazing story I have now.

My ex-boyfriend, I hope your girlfriend loves you and your relationship lasts forever. You are the reason I am so happy today. Because of how awful our relationship was, I learned from it, moved on, and broke up with you. You just weren't the one for me.


Your first high school girlfriend

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