I've always enjoyed writing within the privacy of my thought life and random journals. It forces me to see beauty. Some people, like myself, absolutely hate the holidays. I dread the thought of November and December. If I don't find a happy place, I become doomed in depression.

I believe there can be joy and healing in mere consciousness; being aware of the good things. Like others, I feel the weight of a tired, mundane community begging and hanging themselves for what's believed to be unreachable. I believe searching and finding something beautiful every day keeps us happy and healthy.

The older I get, beauty becomes more important to me. Not in the shallow sense of a perfect shoe or eye candy: not glamor, nor sexiness, but an inundating, overwhelming and deep sense of awe: a wonder that makes you feel small yet empowered. Being outside does this for me. A life coach once told me that the smallest life you can live is a self-centered, self-focused life.

There is misery in the old belief that earth is the center of the universe or that nature was created with us in mind. We have become such an entitled group of people where we are the center, "it's all about me." In reality, we were built long after nature started.

Instead of feeling entitled we should feel grateful that were chosen for such connectedness. I am thankful to be apart of something much bigger than me. I feel empowered. Usually, the tangible doesn't last, yet the universe being so big and mighty is still close enough to touch. During this holiday season, I encourage the hopeless, the sad and the depressed to find something beautiful; something that makes their world and problems seems small.