Relationships are weird. You spend a lot of time and effort to get to know someone over a period of time, just for one day it might end. Then, you have all this useless information about a person, like their favorite movie or how their uncle is a teacher at a school and his students call him by a certain nickname.
Not all relationships end, but in the recent relationships I've had, I've learned a lot of things about another person that I most likely won't need ever again.
Over the past year, I've had two semi "serious" relationships. I dated each guy for about five months, but I dumped each of them. The first guy, I couldn't trust. He was away at school and at the beginning of our relationship, I found some things out about him and how he treated other girls, so that made me not able to fully trust him from the get-go, which is no way to have a relationship.
In a relationship, you need trust, and you need to be able to be open and honest with each other. I just didn't feel like he was honest with me a lot of the time.
In the second relationship, the guy was a total sweetheart. He was kind, took me on many dates, and spoiled me endlessly. From the previous relationship, I had trust issues and couldn't open up right away or as quickly as I did with the past boyfriend. So, when I did finally feel like I could open up to him, he couldn't handle it, so I decided to let him go.
Because of these two relationships, I've learned a lot. I've learned that I need to take my time because, honestly, both relationships were pretty rushed and we kind of just jumped into things. I also learned that I can't push myself to open up, but I can do so slowly and gradually open up to the next guy.
After my last relationship, I went through a time where I felt like I was just hopeless in finding the right guy or a guy who doesn't bore me. However, over the past month, I've realized some things both about me and relationships. I realized that I can't just jump into things. I need to take a deep breath before hopping into a relationship and get to know the person pretty well before I can take the leap of faith into a relationship.
I also realized that relationships are a lot of effort and communication. I need to tell the other person how I'm feeling and not just keep it inside. I also need to just let things, like an argument, go. I can't dwell on things. We need to come up with a solution to the problem, fix it, and move on.
I used to never get it when a girl said that she needs time alone and to find herself until I felt the same way. I feel like these past few months have been an adventure in finding myself and realizing what I want.
Don't be afraid to end a relationship to find yourself and what you want. If you're not happy in a relationship, you don't trust the person you're with, or they can't handle every part of you from the inside out, let them go. Go find yourself. Live your best life. Figure out what you want and need in a relationship.
It takes time, but you will figure everything out.
