To the high school me who thought everything was figured out at the end of my sophomore year through my senior year. Breaking news you did not! You did not know what you were going to do in college. You did not know what you were going to do career wise. You had everything mapped out. Absolutely everything, from what you where you were going to go to school, and what profession to pursue. You were going to go play the sport you loved more than anything in the world. You were looking at schools to play baseball, the dream you have had since you could pick up the baseball. You suddenly witnessed these events change in a quick and fast manner. You found a new group of friends, new “hobbies”, a girl that you decided to let dictate who you were and how you lived life. Then you lost three people who meant the world to you in the matter of your junior and senior year. These changed the course of your life, who you become. You were thrown into positions of leadership you simply were nowhere near ready to have on your plate. Decisions that you had to make quickly. Decisions that would change the trajectory of your future and ultimately who you are. Coming into graduation you had no idea where you were actually going to attend college. You did not want to dig a huge hole of debt going to a school you might now actually enjoy (which I thank you greatly). The most important things you did not know though, and I really wish you did was:

1. You had no idea who you were as a person. You spent so much time caught up making your identity with others and what they wanted you to be, you simply had no time to find yourself.
2. This is the single most important thing I wish you would have known is who God is. You had the “I can fix anything,” mentality. To an extent you were right. Relying on others for help and advice did not sit well with you. You had the worst patience, temper, and were simply misguided by the society which you lived in. You did not have anything figured out, but God did. Even though you did not truly know Him. All you knew was who He was, and that He created you. That’s about it.

You had no idea what the future truly had in store for you. Knowing what you wanted and what you desired was all you knew. Very soon God was going to absolutely wreck who you are as a person. The fact that you didn’t know God personally makes me laugh now when I look back at all of this.

To the reader if you think this is simply JUST about me addressing who I was in high school. Please continue reading and let it sink in and ponder in your mind for a little while. Can you relate? Do you know someone who can relate, maybe a son, daughter? How about a friend, classmate, or someone might barely know. Even if you cannot relate or do not relate I highly encourage you to continue reading. You never know when you might need to look back on this.

I sit here writing this four to six years later as a senior in college. I was reflecting on my experience in college and who I was prior to college. I have realized some things between then and now that might help those in high school and college who think they have everything figured out, or have no idea what they are going to do with their life after high school or college. I thought I had my life figured towards the end of my sophomore year of high school. I was going to go to school to become a high school history teacher. I absolutely loved history and still do. Soon, after, I changed my mind and was bound and determined to become an athletic trainer and personal trainer. Through the rest of my high school career that is what I was going to do with my life. The irony is I “knew” what I was going to do with my life. I was in charge and in control, which I love the concept of being in control. Like I previously said I was going to go play baseball somewhere, become an athletic trainer and life will be awesome! Well I was completely wrong I lost one of my closest friend halfway through my junior year of high school. This is where having my life figured out becomes a blur.

This time of my life became the hardest and most confusing times I have yet to experience. I slowly started to attend Bible study, and get to know God. Deeper than I knew was possible. This is when things started to shake up. I decided not to go off and play baseball in college (which I regret at times). I decided to live at home and commute. I continued to juggle majors around and career paths around. I changed majors at least six times in the frame of two years. With all this confusion I still continued to find God. I had the hunger to know Him more and deeper than ever before. I did not grow up in a church home, so this made the fire hard to keep burning over the years. When I looked to God, immediate answers are not always given. Very rarely are they.

It was not until the fall of 2015, I finally settled for sports management and started coaching cross country at a local high school. And when I say settle I do not mean this in a “it’s my only option” I mean this is a way of something I enjoy. In the spring of 2016 I finally decide youth ministry was going to be my minor. I wanted include my burning desire to do God’s will and incorporate sports with that. Now my next challenge was figuring out where and what I was going to do with both of these. Senior year was coming up fast, and now graduation is coming up even faster. I had no idea where I was going with my degree or minor before this year. I still have no clue what I am doing with my degree, but as I have pressed into God more and more he has brought opportunities into my life. I have the opportunity to go into youth ministry and work with a church as an intern youth pastor, and possible as their long term youth pastor. Now I still don’t know where my degree is taking me, but a sense of relief is their knowing that I am doing what God wants me to do, right now.

As a high school and college student it is okay to not have every or nothing of your life figured out. As you can see I did not and still don’t. This time in our lives is very essential to finding who we are as individuals. Some people discover who they really are in different ways. Some of us it is going to college and being with people we barely know, stepping out of our comfort zones, and experiencing a “New” lifestyle that helps form who we are. Others it might be going directly into the workforce. Some are meant for the military. For me it was attending college fulltime, and working after hours. Pressing into God and listening to what His plan is for me has been difficult and something I struggle with daily. I want to know now what is the path for my life. Maybe you are not sure about college because of building an enormous amount of debt right of high school and decide to go into the workforce to save and pay for as much as you can. I strongly encourage you to not lose that fire to get your degree. Surround yourself with friends, and family who will not let that fire die and motivate you to go back and reach that goal of higher education. You will never stop learning, but do not reach the day in your life which you might regret not going to college, or figuring out who you are. You need to know who you are individually, and for fellow Christians you need to know who you are in God. You cannot keep who you are in others because they will simply fail you and let you down. When they let you down, having “everything figured out” becomes virtually an impossible task. Just remember you do not have everything figured out, things will change in your life and this will change where you go and what you accomplish.