Why can’t you do this?
You’ll never be good enough.
How come they know what to do and you don’t?
Almost every day I’m plagued with such thoughts, leading me to despair. Throughout my life, I constantly struggle with emotions of incompetence, always feeling like I’m never good enough, that I could do more, that somehow what I’m doing right now just isn’t enough.
I grew up in a blessed and fortunate home. Both my parents provided and did many things for me, so I never had to worry about the necessities. But as I grew older, this came back to bite me. Most of my friends were doing things which I should know how to do or should be doing, such as working, getting internships, driving, running errands, managing their bank accounts -- even random things like knowing how to tie a Windsor Knot started to get to me. Because of all the things I couldn't do, I often felt inferior to my peers, knowing just how much more responsible they were compared to me.
And that's where it all starts.
The feeling of incompetence births from comparison. Thoughts such as “This person does more work than me” or “This person knows more about this than I do” deteriorates our confidence and makes us feel insecure about own knowledge and skills. If it continues, we then start to believe that we truly are useless, that nothing good comes from our words or actions, as though our work and even existence don't even matter.
But God tells us otherwise. He's carefully designed each and every one of us with unique talents and gifts so that we can fulfill the purpose that's he's given us.
“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out” - Proverbs 20:5 (NIV)
If the Creator of the universe himself has given us such an important task and tells us that we are more than capable of doing it, then in what way are we incompetent? Sure, there are many things in which we could learn to do or improve on, but that doesn't mean that we are completely useless. Each of us carry the potential to be great, but it's our job to seize our opportunities and make the most out of our time here on Earth.
We must trust God with our lives. As long as we honor God by what we do, he will guide us into fulfilling the purpose he has given us.
“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose” - Philippians 2:12-13 (NIV)
These days, I’ve been working hard to be more responsible in order to overcome the negative emotions of incompetence. But honestly, it's still a huge obstacle for me. It’s at the point where even when someone does something for me out of kindness or as an act of service, I get feelings of uselessness and worthlessness that are heavily degrading, making me want to do everything myself.
But I am slowly rebuilding my mentality, reminding myself that I am indeed capable of many things, and that God created me knowing that I am able to do his work. Whatever I can't do, I will seek God for strength and wisdom and learn how to do things without feeling incompetent.
"I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:13 (NASB)
