7 Things You Should Know As A Female Pallbearer
Start writing a post

7 Things You Should Know As A Female Pallbearer

You don't have to be famous like Maria Shriver to be a pallbearer.

7 Things You Should Know As A Female Pallbearer

I unfortunately had to attend a funeral this week andI was asked to be a pallbearer. I was initially concerned as a petite girl, I wouldn't have the physical and emotional strength required.

While I was internally debating whether to be a pallbearer or not, I found a lot of unhelpful/inaccurate stuff on Google. So here's a genuine pallbearer experience from a petite woman to help the next female pallbearer make their decision.

Note: I use a lot of gendered language in this article, because this is my personal experience as a cis petite female pallbearer. If you dress in a femme way or don't identify as male, some of this article still may apply. No matter your gender identity or expression, if you want to be a pallbearer at a funeral of someone you were close to, don't let gendered expectations hold you back.

1. As long as you feel comfortable, do it.

it's a great honor to be asked and to carry out this solemn duty. Don't let tradition prevent you from participating. However, if you don't think you can manage the weight of the coffin due to medical stuff, pregnancy, body type or simply overwhelmed from grief don't do it. (Dropping a coffin would be bad...)

2. Wear comfortable shoes

For women, I recommend flats or low, wider heels that you are very comfortable wearing. Older places of worships and outside at the cemetery could involve lots of steps or be very uneven ground, and you cannot stumble in these circumstances.

3. Wear something mostly black/grey to match the other pallbearers.

Assuming most of the pallbearers are men, it's likely they are going to be wearing dark suits. If you don't have a dark suit to wear, your attire should mirror this color scheme, even though wearing other dark colors (purple, navy blue) to funerals has become more acceptable.

Wearing dark colors is a Western tradition at funerals, so more generally your feminine attire shouldn't call attention to yourself if all the other pallbearers are male.

4. If it's raining, a raincoat is a must.

An umbrella won't do in this situation, and you wouldn't want to ruin your good clothes so even if there's a possibility of rain-wear a waterproof coat.

5. Ask the funeral director if you are confused.

The pallbearers often get to the funeral home early before the funeral to load the hearse. This is a good time to clarify any questions you might have about carrying the coffin. If you get brief or confusing directions, now is the time to clarify.

6. Usually you grab the rail on the side of the casket.

*Results may vary, but Google mislead me on this one saying that handles are mostly decorative. Clarify with the funeral director or another pallbearer to be extra certain.

7. Carrying a casket up steps is difficult.

The weight shifts around rapidly so a secure, two-handed grip will make it easier. If you are concerned about the weight, place yourself as one of the pallbearers in the middle.

8. It can be a rewarding experience.

This may be the last chance you can do something for the deceased person you knew well. Consider breaking a gendered stereotype and be a pallbearer.

Do you identify as female and have been a pallbearer at a funeral? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

9 Things Tall People Are Tired Of Hearing

Yep. The weather is fine up here... I've totally never heard that before.


Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE being tall. Sometimes I even wish I was taller. One of the downsides of being tall however, is having to put up with ridiculous questions and statements. I can assure that all tall people are tired of being asked what the weather is like "up here", but here are a few other things we don't want to hear anymore.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

30 Signs You're From Wisconsin

When you say Wisconsin, you've said it all!


We truly love it here in the Badger State. Here are a few things Wisconsinites can relate to.

Keep Reading... Show less

Five Types Of People In Fall

From yummy pumpkin spice lattes to scary movies, fall has it all and then some.

Destination Logan County Illinois

Oh fall, the most marvelous time of year...right? Every approaches fall differently, some pumpkin spice-tastically and some not so enthusiastically. We can't all be Autumn lovers, so here are five types of people in fall. Grab a cup of hot coca, sit back, and enjoy.

Keep Reading... Show less

If you're like me, by this time of year you're over summer. The beach, the sunshine, and the heat were all great, but now we're itching for blanket scarves, football, and pumpkin spice EVERYTHING! As the new season approaches, your relationship can benefit from some old traditional dates and some new fresh ideas! Here are a couple great date ideas for you and your boo to try out this fall.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

Social Media Or Soul Media

To the generation that cares way too much about affirmation.

Emma Smith
  • This semester I am taking the ever so famous class, Writing 101. Walking into it, I had heard the horror stories about each major assignment. I have to admit, it’s not a class that I am fond of. But, major assignment #2 got me thinking, we had to create a research question based off of a topic that we are interested in.

Two weeks prior, I watched a very interesting documentary on Netflix. Miss Representation was recommended to me by one of my friends and I have to say the topic is absolutely mind blowing. Social Media and Female Body Image. How Social Media makes girls see this unnatural perfection of ‘beauty’ that really doesn’t exist. But female body image isn’t the only thing affected by social media.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments